There are some things in life that I just have to accept about myself. My days of running 6 minute miles are long gone (I’m sure I could get back to it, maybe, but don’t want to dedicate that much time to that goal!). I will never have 26 hours in my day, so somethings just have to get scratched from the after-work schedule. My house will never be spotless. AND I lack the confidence to get in the pool to swim on my own.
If you are following my blog closely, yesterday was Wednesday. Yesterday was the day I was supposed to swim. It didn’t happen. I started to feel guilty about it. I like to do what I say I’m going to do. I definitely don’t like to feel like I defeated myself. Instead of beating myself up, I’m recognizing my lack of motivation for what it really is………lack of confidence.
The only way for me to actually get into the pool to swim is to increase my confidence about my swimming ability. Jumping in and going for it is probably not the best thing for me to do it this situation. I want to love swimming. I want it to be an enjoyable experience for me. I want it to become a life-long hobby.
While Cole was in his swim lessons last night, I was watching and beating myself for not bringing my bathing suit. I gently told myself to get over it. I need to accept the fact that I am not confident about swimming. I need to find a way to increase my confidence. The Rec Centers offer adult swim clinics all the time. I got up, grabbed the class book, and attempted to find a class. unfortunately, the books that are out right now are the spring books. The last adult swim clinic listed started in April. Summer books will be out soon though, and I will be signing up for a swim clinic.
Until registration opens up, I’m giving myself permission to remove the burden of swimming from my daily thought process. To be honest, it has kind of taken over. I’m neglecting my training and my yoga practice because I’m stressing over swimming. I’m going to put my bathing suit back in the drawer so its not a constant visual reminder of what I’m not doing. (okay – it’s honestly still in the zappos box it was mailed in and sitting on my bedroom floor!)
I’m letting myself of the hook, and I’m okay with it. And on days that I feel like I’m not okay with it, I can come back a reread my blog. It’s okay to let myself of the hook right now because it is what is best for me in the long run. In order to really enjoy swimming, I need to start in a more organized structured environment. I need someone to hold my hand through the process. Once I’m started, I know it’s something I will incorporate into everyday life.