Shedding Layers

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been shedding the layers of pregnancy and post-baby both emotionally and physically.

Emotionally, I feel like my hormones belong to me again (especially since I decided to not take the pill anymore). I feel like I’m more balanced. I feel like I’m more alive.

Physically, I am getting closer to my pregnancy weight. According to the scale, I have a few more pounds to lose. According to my clothes, I am just about back. About half of my pregnant pants are finally fitting. Some may never fit again, but I’m feeling good in my body again. I’ve ditched the “post-baby label” when it comes to running and staying fit. My running feels like running again. Good bye old man shuffle. My yoga feels like home again.

Today I shed my final pregnant layer. At some point during pregnancy, I decided it would be a good idea to let my bangs grow out. I knew I wouldn’t want to mess with them after Chet was born. I wanted a quick and easy pony tail. Today the bangs came back. As soon as my hairdresser (and wonderful friend! Happy Birthday Jessica!) cut my bangs, I felt a lightness enter my body. I’m back. I looked at myself in the mirror and it was like getting reaquainted with a girl I love. Now I know there are days I will want the go to ponytail, but that is why headbands and hair clips were made. For all the other days, I am back to looking and feeling like me.

While I’m busy shedding layers, that cute little baby above….he’s busy declaring his independence in this world. He’s thrown all his good sleeping behaviors out the window. Who needs sleep? It’s not just one or two wake-ups either. It is 3 or 4 with rejected bedtimes and early wake-ups. He doesn’t want to nap either. He is a baby with an agenda and he certainly knows what he wants in his life. The day he decided to ditch sleeping, he also returned to nursing. I haven’t given him a bottle since Sunday.  If he wants to pick one or the other, I’m happy with his decision.

I have a feeling we are on the verge of a big developmental change. I can’t wait to see what surfaces in the next few weeks.