Choosing Life

Things happen in our life that will forever change who we are as people. They happen. We spin. We refocus. Some of those things that happen are deliriously good. Sometimes they are not. Sometimes those things that happen are ugly, unwanted, and not according to plan. Both the good and the bad give us an oppurtunity to be better. They allow us to pause exactly where we are in life. They give us a choice. We can allow these life moments to define us or we can be better. We can choose to be so much more than a moment.

Today I am reminded of these choices.

At work I am a part of a deposition for a law suit against the city, my employer.  I will be meeting with a city attorney to discuss what I should expect and what information I will be providing. In my life this is neither good nor bad. It is just a part of my job, but the walk to the city attorney’s office has flooded me with memories. I woke up this morning anxious. I was irritable. I was mad at every scenario I couldn’t control in my day. I was annoyed that I had to take the boys to the doctor alone. I was irritated that yesterday I had to take the dog to the vet alone. I was mad that I couldn’t control my husband’s work schedule for the week. I didn’t want to be responsible for dinner by myself. I didn’t want to juggle life today.  Where was this coming from? This is not a normal emotion for me. I don’t carry these feelings around with me on a daily basis. As I got closer to work and thought through my daily routine, I found myself ready to shed tears.

There was a tiny moment when I realized why my world felt out of balance for the day. The last time (and only time), I’ve had an appointment with a city attorney on my calendar was when I was 18. When I was 18, I was in the middle of one of those life moments where I had to choose to be better than what had happened to me. As I meet with the city attorney alone to discuss details of an event that I had no control over, I had to choose. I could spin forever or I could refocus. I chose to learn. I chose to grow. I picked a path that would allow that moment to help me bloom.

Today I am thankful for the reminder. I’m thankful for the few tears I shed for the young girl I was half a lifetime ago. We never know what will shape us in life. That is what makes living fun. Every single day we get to start our day with one objective in mind. What will we choose for today, for this life, that will help us bloom. Really big life moments will always happen to us. Some of them will be really good. Some of them will not. Both of them will give us a choice to spin forever or to bloom.

Live your life every day. Be present every single day. I’m glad I didn’t let my feelings today spin out of control before I identified the source. Identifying where it is coming from has already given me peace.  Writing this post has allowed me to choose a better outlook for today. Spring is arriving. There is no better time to choose a life that allows you to bloom.