Committed

Three years ago today I married my husband. I knew from the moment I saw him for the first time that I would spend the rest of my life with him. I got out of my car, met him at the doors to the Mexican restaurant, and literally fell into his arms. He went to shake my hand. I had to hug him. When he wrapped his arms around me, everything melted away. His touch peeled away every stress, every ounce of sadness, every regret, and every ounce of blame I carried around with me. His hug gave me permission to forgive myself.

I believe with my whole heart that life can’t be lived from a loving place until you forgive yourself for all the silly nonsense in life. Life can’t be lived until you embrace yourself for who you are – the good along side of the “bad”. Christian’s love has given me this gift.

You must love in such a way that the person you love feel free. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Christian’s love has set me free. His hugs still make my body melt. My shoulders, my chest, and my brain all become a puddle when I’m in his arms. He removes every ounce of stress I carry around with me.

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Today, on our anniversary, I also got an email from my running coach. It outlines the philosophy behind how he trains his runners and his plans for me over the summer and into marathon training for Richmond. It is intense. It scares the crap out of me. It also makes me so excited for my journey.

Another whole hearted belief I carry around me with is about goal setting. I love goals. I also think goals should scare the crap out of you. If you don’t get butterflies in your stomach and if your hands don’t start to sweat a little when putting your goals on paper, dream bigger. The biggest rewards come from having the courage to travel down the road towards a goal that makes you want to pee your pants!

(Seriously try it! If all your dreams came true, “X” would happen. Now what do you need to do to get there. For me that creates butterflies. I may or may not actually achieve “X”, but the journey is going to take me to exactly where I belong.)

It’s not going to be easy. I’m going to have to work my ass off to make it happen. I also know I’m going to love every second (even the tough days) of this journey. This new training plan and my coach’s willingness to work with me have me dreaming even bigger than I could possibly imagine.

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May 1st will always be a day that fills me to my brim with love. It is a reminder that true love for yourself and a genuine pure love from your partner in life are the only things needed in. Christian’s love for me gives me a space in life to dream big. His love for me allows me to walk (or perhaps run) down my life path. Our commitment to each other is what allows us to commit to the world. I could never say yes to an insane training plan if I didn’t have his love.

While I’m committing to lots and lots of running, I have to make sure I commit to loving first. I have to make sure Christian is my top priority because without him everything else falls flat. I have to remember to squeeze out every second of the day with my boys, so mama guilt doesn’t take over when I’m running again. My whole hearted beliefs have to start with my family.  I love my husband. I love the life we are creating together. Running reminds me of this every single time I put on my running shoes.

Intentional Loving. Intentional Living. Intentional Running. This year I am going big!