Go show them what Love looks like…
These were not the exact words I received from a friend as I changed in and out of every single bathing suit I own (all which date back to both pre-Chet and some pre-Cole), but they are the words I carried around with me all weekend.
My body has certainly changed a lot since having babies. While I’m normally pretty content with how my body looks, putting on a bathing suit that was made for my body at a different time in my life certainly tested my confidence. The bathing suit option I settled on was a little too narrow on my behind. It was little too revealing for my comfort level in the chest. I quickly banished those thoughts and remembered that this body has birthed two babies. This body has run a marathon. This body has nursed two children. This body is loved. My life is loved. It is that love that I needed to walk around with at the two pool parties I attended on Sunday instead of the thoughts of my too small bikini.
Birthday party #1 was celebrating my sweet niece’s 4th birthday. Birthday #2 was honoring my father-in-law who would have been celebrating his 60th birthday. Both parties were filled with people who had come together to celebrate these two special people.
At my niece’s party, we slid down water slides. I not so successfully attempted to drown my 2nd child – Don’t worry! He didn’t mind! I’m not good at going slow. A fast slide equals a big splash. I had jumping competitions with Cole. He beat me every time. How does that 4 foot tall string bean jump so far into the pool.
This is what my love looks like.
At my Father-in-Law’s party, we were surrounded by almost every single family member from the Maute family. Every single cousin, niece, nephew, sibling, parent, and spouse was in attendance. Family traveled from upstate New York, Texas, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. The commander of the USS Truman came to the party and present my Mother in Law with a flag that was flown on the ship in his honor (he was a civilian whose job supported the fleet).
This is what my love looks like.
Sunday evening I sat on the couch completely exhausted by the weekend. Past the exhausted body was a layer of contentment. My life is so full of love.
The bikinis that don’t fit don’t matter. When you stop focusing on the appearance of things, you can live from a place of true happiness. I don’t have a big house or a fancy car. I will never wear designer shoes (Do Toms count?). I don’t need a label slapped on to my latest purchase (although I do adore Lululemon). I don’t even want a label slapped on to me. Wife. Mom. Runner. These labels don’t matter to me either. What matters to me most is love and living from a loving place. I want the jumping contest, the pool slides, and an abundant amount of family members. I want people to see me, and I want them to see the love that I carry around with me. I want my love to shine so bright that they don’t have time to notice the bathing suit or the runners tan lines or the stretch marks below my belly button. I want to love big.
Go show them what love looks like…I sure as hell am going to try!
Kristy Maute 
I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your blog and each of your entries resonates with me. Thank you!
Thank you Amy! It’s so nice to know I’m not always floating around in this world by myself!
🙂 thanks! I’m trying to come to terms with this too (yes, I am pregnant but my legs, butt and arms are far from my running body). I’m not sure very many people will see my walking around the beach photos with Austin from this weekend. I cringe when I look at them now but at that time, in those moments, it didn’t matter at all. He was just having so much fun and we were in our own little bubble.
Notice the photos I posted on instagram were all shoulders down! I’m not that confident – not sure my love would translate through a photograph!!! ha!
I have not been onto the blogging world much as of late, but I always love stopping by your corner of the web because I leave with such nuggets of wisdom to carry with me.
As I see my body change daily before my eyes, I embrace it one minute and struggle with walking up the stairs and losing my breath the next. I know that at the end of the day all that matters is the love that I can give this child growing inside of me. I am looking forward to digging my roots deeper with my husband, to nourish and thrive while growing our family. I do not want place my self worth in things that are not in my control or do not matter. You capture this beautifully, as you always do.
Love big! I like that. Yes, I will aim to:-)