Stepping out of my Comfort Zone

One writes not to be read but to breathe…one writes to think, to pray, to analyze. One writes to clear one’s mind, to dissipate one’s fears, to face one’s doubts, to look at one’s mistakes–in order to retrieve them. One writes to capture and crystallize one’s joy, but also to disperse one’s gloom. Like prayer–you go to it in sorrow more than joy, for help, a road back to ‘grace’. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Anne Morrow Lindbergh is one of my favorite authors. I have read and reread her book A Gift from the Sea at least a dozen times. My friend Nicole read a passage from this book at my wedding. Lindbergh writes about her reflections on life. She wrote A Gift from the Sea on her annual week by herself on Captiva Island in Florida. It’s on her annual week away from life that she recharges. It is her week to breathe.

Tomorrow I am doing something I never thought I would do. I’m following in Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s footsteps. I’m a little anxious and a little more excited. I’m getting on an airplane without my husband and without my children. I’m flying to see my dear friend Nicole in Daytona Beach, Florida for no other reason but a quick visit (and a free plane ticket that was about to expire). I was feeling brave the day I booked my flight a month ago. If my brain ever fantasizes about anything it is getting away. It is a weekend to myself. It is a beach, a mountain, a piece of nature to call my own, a book, a journal, a bottle of wine and a friend to share it with.

Blue Springs State Park – You can find us here this weekend

I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

While I’m anxious to leave my baby for 2 nights (and I still can’t believe I’m voluntarily leaving him), I think I need these days for myself. I will come home on Saturday ready for life to rush back in and ready to smooch on all my boys.

See you tomorrow Nicole!

You Can’t Hide in Yoga

This morning, I started my day on my yoga mat. I felt a little off when I started, but I soon settled into my practice. Half way through practice we arrived at some great hip openers. If you’ve practiced yoga before, I’m sure you know the magic of hip openers. Every emotion, every feeling, every insecurity, every ounce of stress is held in the hips. The more they open, the more all of these emotions surface. As I sat in pigeon pose, I felt the tears start to surface. I felt anxiety in my chest. What was making me so anxious? Why did I feel like crying?

We hold stress and negative emotions—such as fear, guilt, and sadness—in our pelvis, says San Francisco vinyasa teacher Stephanie Snyder. For this reason alone, Snyder believes it’s particularly important to do poses that move prana (life force) through that area. “You know your junk drawer at home?” she asks. “The pelvis is like the body’s junk drawer. Whenever you don’t know what to do with a feeling or experience, you put it there.” ~ Diane Anderson, Yoga Journal

I’ve been a little quiet on my blog about running the past week. There is a reason for it. I’ve got some junk in my drawer that I was trying to avoid. The oh-so-familiar, most unwanted pain has resurfaced in my leg. The dull ache is back in my left femur. Same spot. Same feeling. The level of discomfort isn’t what it was last year when I had my stress fracture, but it is the exact same pain. I was hoping it was a just a bad day and some random aching due to bad weather, but I’m now facing day 6 of pain.

I thought if I rested for a few days, if I didn’t acknowledge the discomfort, if I didn’t focus on what I was feeling, it would go away. I ran last Tuesday (2.5 speedy-for-me miles @ 9:48 pace). Wednesday night I woke up to feed Chet at midnight. As I stepped out of bed, the discomfort caught me off guard. It was there when I woke up to start the day. It continued to persist into Thursday. I finally said something to Christian. I texted two close friends about the pain. Outside of those three people, I wanted to pretend like it didn’t hurt. I made plans to run on Saturday. Fortunately I learned a thing or two last year. I let my leg rest instead of running. This is not the type of pain I want to run through. If it is still bothering me at the end of this week, I will call the doctor.

While trying to ignore the possibility that my injury could be resurfacing one year later, I’ve been burying a lot of feelings that I need to process. I’ve become stressed about so many possibilities: if it is back after running at most 6 miles since having Chet, what does that mean? Are the rods and screws in my legs finally causing complications? Is it weird that it’s the femur that I didn’t break?

My yoga practice today brought them all to the surface.You can’t hide from yourself or your feelings in yoga. You can’t pretend to be something you’re not. You can’t fake it. When you show up on your mat, it is just you. You owe it to yourself to feel your way through your practice. Today I was met with some unexpected emotions that were begging to be released.

And you know what…I feel a lot better (emotionally at least). It’s not healthy to hold on to all that stress. While I figure out exactly what my body wants right now, I’m going to avoid running and overindulge in yoga.

Fingers crossed for a few days with no pain.

via Pinterest

Four Month Funnies

Chet’s monthly photos have become….well, fun! He moves everywhere. As soon as the doggy is next to him, he grabs him and puts him in his mouth. He tries to roll over when he is laying on the ground. He slides right off MooMoo (the cow chair) as soon as I set him down.

I can only imagine how hard it is going to be when he starts crawling and walking.

If you have a free minute, enjoy the slide show below. It is all the funny silly photos of Chet as I tried to capture a handful of good ones.

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Celebrating Four Months!

On April 5th we celebrated Chet’s fourth month of life. The past month has brought about a lot of fun changes in our (not so) itty bitty baby.

I’ll start with the fun stuff: numbers. Chet went to the doctor on Monday.

12 lbs 4 ozs (25% percentile again)

24.75 inches long (50th percentile, a jump up from the 25th)

He is definitely growing and filling out. We call him our little brick. I don’t know how else to describe him. He is a brick: solid, strong, sturdy body. The doctor also spotted his two front bottom teeth. She thinks they will be breaking through sooner rather than later. He got a happy, healthy stamp of approval from the doctor.

Other fun accomplishments this month:

  • He is a rolly polly baby. He is always rolling from his back to his belly. Put him on the ground and there is a good chance he will end up on his belly. Although he has rolled from his belly to his back a handful of times, he really doesn’t have that mastered yet.
  • He laughs and talks nonstop.
  • He has found his toes.

We still have our baby moments on occasion, but he is such a happy baby (that loves to be held!).  He manages to occupy every moment of our time when he is awake but with such a cute smiley face, I don’t mind giving into all his wants and needs. There is no “I’ll cook dinner while he plays in his bouncy chair” or “I’ll flip a load of laundry while he is on our playmat” in our house. When Chet is awake, he demands attention. Now that he is sleeping happily in his crib, he can have 100% of my attention. Cooking and cleaning can happen during nap time. (We sure have come a long way in 4 months!!!)

Our biggest accomplishment for the month happened on his four-month birthday. Chet is officially sleeping in his crib 100% of the time since Saturday. He’s napping is his crib at home and at Grandma’s house. He has also turned into an awesome night-time sleeper. We put him to bed between 7 and 8pm. The nice thing about him sleeping in his crib is that it has allowed me to create a nighttime routine for him. When I notice that he is getting sleepy, I will change him into his pajamas, read him a book, nurse him, and then put him in his bed with his songhorse. Saturday night consisted of one feeding at 5am. Sunday night had one feeding at 2am. Last night Chet slept all the way until 6:30am. HOLY MOLY! I don’t even know what to do with myself today. He has never slept so well. I guess he was ready for his crib (It’s about time I did it since I talked about it in his 3 month update too!)

Now that Chet is a crib sleeper, I am trying to reserve his crib for sleeping only. It’s no longer our staging area. I used to put him in his crib so I could brush my teeth or go the bathroom. While we are new at this, I think I will feel more comfortable keeping it for sleeping only. So….we moved our monthly photo shoot to the floor. I’m now taking his photos on his baby quilt.

Now that Chet is a mover and a shaker, monthly photos are getting interesting. Stay tuned for some funny outtakes.

Want to see how he has grown? Check out…

Three Months

Two Months

One Month