Defining Strength

Climbing Angel's Landing in Utah (yes, to the top of the Rock behind me)

Find your strong…

This idea of defining your strength has been following me around since I heard about the woman who ran the Chicago Marathon 39 weeks pregnant. She was able to define her level of strength by completing a full marathon and delivering a healthy baby. Not everyone has that same definition of strength.  Fit Pregnancy posted a great article yesterday about finding inspiration in a pregnant woman who had found her level of fitness in the gym.

While it is easy to define strength based on a individual’s physical ability, I believe it is our emotional strength that truly defines us and allows us to be physically strong.  Last week, Lauren posted about defining emotional strength. She closed her post with a quote that is now permanently etched into a part of me.

I know you think you can’t, but I promise, you can do this.

My strength is personal to me and my journey in life. Your strength has to be the same.

No matter what defines our definition of strength, I think we owe it to ourselves to define what it means to each of us. It feels amazing to push the physical and emotional boundaries we place around ourselves. There is something empowering about running the extra mile that I never thought I could run. When I first started running, I wanted to run from my house to the Edgar Cayce building and back (2 miles). That distance became easy. Then I wanted to run from my house to the Cavalier Hotel and back (5 miles). That too became easy. I tackled a half-marathon. Although it wasn’t easy, it was so rewarding. I wanted more. If I could challenge myself to get to 13.1 miles, why not push further. Why not see what I’m capable of when things get hard? Isn’t that when we find our true character?

We are so much stronger than we think.

Everyone has a limitless source of strength. Just when you think you have nothing left to give, you find a little bit more. Just when you think you can’t handle it anymore, a rainbow appears.

I think one of the reasons I love running so much is that it allows me to go on a life journey in a few miles or a few hours. I can have great runs that turn bad. I can have bad runs that turn great. I can have a run that is dependent on talking myself out of negative self-talk when things get hard. I have to convince myself to keep going. Other days I have to tell myself to stop and take a break.  No matter how good or how bad, I am always smiling at the end of each run. Each run allows me tackle something that will happen to me at any moment in my life.

Life makes it easy to be lazy. Life makes it easy to find comfort in not trying. Although comfort is great, there is a lot of life to experience that comes from pushing beyond what is comfortable. I think we owe it to ourselves to figure out how strong we can be and what we are capable of accomplishing. Even if we aren’t searching for it, life will find ways to test your emotional strength. No matter how hard it gets, we are all strong enough to make it to the finish line with grace.

It has been a refreshing reminder this week to continue to define my definition of strength.

What defines my strength?

My definition of strength stems from a knowledge of my body. If I had to define the year 2011 in my life, it has been a journey of learning to listen to my body – from marathon training, to injuries, to pregnancy, to lots and lots of yoga, to emotional melt-downs. I’m still learning, but I am becoming more in tune with my body every day. In order to do this

  • I have to sweat. Exercise of any form allows me to engage with my body. Running has never been about physical exercise for me. It is 100% my mental therapy.
  • I have to nourish my body. My body can’t  communicate what it needs if it filled with processed foods that prevent my body functioning properly.
  • I need to connect with the people around me. I’m learning to trust more and love better – this can be really hard for me.
  • I need to connect with the world around me.  Nothing feels better than breathing outside! Nothing feels better than climbing a mountain, sleeping under the stars, and waking up with the sun.

All of these items combine to allow me to find my strength in this world, to connect with this world, and to hopefully form a positive energy around myself.

We owe it to ourselves to define our strength. We deserve the happiness that comes along with it.

Reward for reaching the top
And a kiss to celebrate!

Maute Moo Update – Week 30

Week 30 already! Can you believe it? (Do I say that at the beginning of every new week?). Like week 29, this week feels like my 30th birthday. I made it. Thank goodness. I feel like I’ve got a little bit of a better handle on pregnancy and my third trimester (I’m sure this statement will bite me in the butt. It always does. Wednesday might be a melt-down day!).

I spent my 30th birthday with Cole and my parents in Disney while Christian vacationed worked (on his tan and a hangover) in Cancun, Mexico – a day in the life of a liquor rep.

Animal Kingdom on my 30th

Okay, maybe week 30 isn’t too much like my 30th birthday. It does feel like a badge of honor though. 30 sounds like so much more than 29. I feel official. 3/4s of my pregnancy is done. 1/4 of my pregnancy is left. Easy enough, right?

Running – It is still one day at a time. Some days feels good. Other days I’m happy to walk.  I have the Wicked 10k coming up Halloween weekend. I’m hoping that ends up being a day I feel good. If not, I’ll be walking 6.2 miles. I desperately need a costume idea….any suggestions? Something easy and homemade would be preferred.

Yoga – Thank goodness for yoga. My body, my mind and my muscles (and my hip) feel so good after I go to class. Due to Christian’s work schedule, I don’t know exactly when I can attend, BUT I decided to go ahead and buy the 10 card pass. It expires in 4 months. This will definitely help me make sure I get to class one way or another.

My annoying hip problem – This week has been a good week. I have slept better this week than I have my entire pregnancy which means I’m not waking up with hip pain. I’ve been working hard on keeping it stretched out, relaxed, and engaged. I think it is helping. If I don’t see any more improvement though, Christian and I have decided it is worth a trip to the chiropractor. We have found one that is highly recommended and trained in prenatal care. I have to make sure my hips and pelvic bones are ready for Maute Moo’s passage 🙂

Cravings – From one potato to another, I’ve traded my french fry craving for baked potatoes with cheese and brocoli. I think I could have it for every meal right now.

Sleep – This is worth mentioning twice! This week has been my best week of sleep since getting pregnant. Some nights I don’t even wake up to use the bathroom. I still wake up every time I roll over, but not enough to disrupt the entire sleep process. It has been fantastic!

New Fun Pregnancy Symptom – Bloody Nose. I had several bloody nose moments when I was pregnant with Cole. I’ve also had more than a few mornings when I’ve blown my nose to find it bleeding. Yesterday was completely different. My nose was a flowing waterfall of blood. Fortunately I was in the shower when it happened because blood was everywhere. It took at least 20 minutes to stop bleeding. I hope this one doesn’t hang around.

We go back to the doctor on Friday. I’ve started the process of writing down my parenting plan, so I’ve got some fun questions for our doctor’s office….

  • At what point will they make me get an induction (hopefully this won’t be an issue, but I’m holding out for no drugs)?
  • Role of the doctor during delivery since I just want to be left alone (for the most part)? Quiet is HUGE in my birthing plan. I want a quiet, peaceful room. Even my chatter box husband knows his job is to be quietly supportive during the process.
  • My plan for no drugs? I really don’t want the nurses offering me pain meds every few minutes.
  • I do not want to have my baby laying on my back. Why? That is an entire blog post in itself, but our bodies are not made to be on our backs during delivery. Delivery is much easier for the mom and the baby when the mom isn’t confined to the a hospital bed.
  • I have some questions/concerns about when the umbilical cord is cut, breast-feeding post-delivery, etc.
  • A huge detail on my birthing plan is Cole….I want him to be the first person (beside Christian and I) who meets his brother.

Our doctor’s office seems to be very open about the birthing process, but I do wish I would have asked some questions before I decided on a group of doctors. I’m feel a little anxious about asking questions at week 30 that I wish I would have asked at week 12. Live and learn, right? I’ll be putting that on the to-do list if we decided to have more babies.

Starting to look like Humpty Dumpty - skinny legs, big round belly!

70 more days until my due date (which means we have 68 days until Christmas!!!)

A Smile in a Double Rainbow

October 13th is a day that isn’t marked on my calendar although it should be. It’s a day that I’m embarrassed to say can go by without my notice. October 13th is the date of my oldest sister’s birth.  Jennifer Marie was born on October 13, 1975. She was the first child for my parents. Three months after her birth, Jennifer passed away.

As a child, my parent’s third child, I grew up knowing I had two sisters. Jennifer was a part of discussions. We decorated the house at Christmas with her first Christmas decorations. I’ve always felt like I knew her.

As an adult, I’ve always wondered what she would look like. Would she look like me since my brother and other sister look a like? Even though I like to think she would be my twin, I have visions of her looking just like my mom when she was young – long strawberry blond hair parted down the middle. I’m convinced she would have freckles. My sister, my brother and I also have 3 very different, very distinct personalities. Amy, once the wild child, is now grounded with a very level head and great maternal instinct. I can be the dreamer and always a little anxious in life. Seth is full of big ideas and high hopes. I can’t help to think that each of us carry a portion of her spirit with us. Perhaps she is the perfect balance between us three siblings.

When I was in High School my family made a trip back home to Wisconsin. While we were there, we visited the cemetery where Jennifer is buried. My brother was still young – maybe 8 or 9. The emotions of the day were very real to all of us but hard to understand for my younger brother. Our parents were visibly emotional. As a teenager, I couldn’t even imagine the loss my parents experienced when Jennifer passed away (I still can’t). As we drove away from the cemetery, Seth was full of questions. He wanted to understand. He was curious about where she was and if she was okay.

“How do we know Jennifer is in Heaven?” he asked my parents.

As soon as he asked my parents this question, a huge rainbow appeared in the sky. It was all my brother needed to see to feel like Jennifer is happy. He didn’t ask anymore questions.

This past Thursday was Jennifer’s birthday. I woke up and went about my day as usual. I hadn’t made the connection that it was Jennifer’s birthday. I didn’t remember until my mom sent me a text to express her love for all of her children. As I was driving to work, I was talking to Christian on the phone. For some reason I started to talk about Jennifer. Christian and I have probably talked about my sister a dozen times our entire relationship. Although my brain forgot it was her birthday, something was there to remind me.

Later that day while I was in yoga class, Virginia Beach was treated to a beautiful double rainbow. Christian saw the entire rainbow from one end to the other while he was surfing. I can’t help but smile and feel the embrace from my oldest sister. I like to think that the part of her that I carry with me was hugging me for being in a yoga class that I love. I like to think she was smiling at my husband.  I like to think that she is proud of who I’ve become and the journey our entire family has been on through life.

Every time I see a rainbow, I smile. Of course my sister would find a beautiful piece of the world to allow her spirit to shine through.

Some how my parents found the rainbow in that horrible rain storm, and they have loved us all a little bit more because of Jennifer.

Soup-er Sunday…A Cole Favorite and a Big Distraction

Ask Cole what he wants for dinner and you will get one of two answers 95% of the time – Steak (Rare) or Tortellini.

His birthday dinner every year is Steak, risotto and broccoli. When picking out steaks at Fresh Market, he asked Christian why they even had to cook them. They looked so good in the display. As someone who never ate red met until I meet Christian (not even as a child), it is so weird to me that he loves it so much. To his disappointment, we do cook it.

His other favorite is tortellini. Maybe its the Sicilian blood in him?

Since Steak soup doesn’t sound good to me, I found a tortellini soup recipe that sounded good on another newly discovered yummy food blog! Click the image to take you to her website to do some exploring.

Today’s Soup: Chicken Tortelinni Soup

2 T. extra-virgin olive oil
2 medium onions, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
4 cups carrots, peeled and cut into diagonal slices
4 cups celery, diced small
1-2 T. Italian seasoning
1 bay leaf
4 quarts of chicken broth
16 ounces cheese tortellini (packaged in the refrigerator section at the store)
4-5 cups cooked shredded chicken
2-3 T. chicken bullion granules (or **Better Than Bullion)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Parmesan Cheese to top

The recipe makes a lot, so I cut everything in half.

First I slow cooked 2 chicken breasts in my slow cooker with chicken broth, italian seasoning, garlic, salt and pepper. This makes the perfect shredded chicken.  After that I followed her directions. I sautéed the veggies, bay leaf, and italian seasoning until the veggies were soft. I then added the chicken broth and bullion cubes. I also added shelled soy beans. (I’m having a hard time getting my daily dose of protein since being pregnant requires so much. Every little bit helps!) Once this came to a boil, I added the tortellini. Once the tortellini were soft, I added the shredded chicken, salt and pepper. I let it all warm up and served. YUM! This recipe is a keeper. I can’t wait to have it for lunch this week and to cook it again!

While the chicken was in the slower cooker, I decided to tackle another Becoming Betty recipe – Banana Crumb Muffins.

While I was baking, I listened to my Paolo Nutini playlist. If you ask Cole, he will tell you that I have 4 boyfriends. Paolo Nutini just happens to be one of them. Christian is #1, of course, followed by Paolo, Mike Rowe, and Spiderman! Apparently I was distracted by my music choice because I realized I was following the wrong recipe after I mixed the butter, eggs, and sugar. Oops! I was following the recipe for Cinnamon Muffins. Although I’m sure the muffins are good, they are not what I meant to bake. They sound a little too sweet for my liking.

On to plan B – find another muffin/bread recipe that calls for at least 2 eggs, 3/4 cup sugar, and 1/4 cup butter. This is what was already mixed in my bowl.

After looking over all the recipes on the Becoming Betty blog, I found a recipe for Chocolate Banana Muffins.  I had majority of the ingredients, so I wouldn’t have to make another trip to the grocery store.

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups flour
3 Tbs. cocoa
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup mashed banana
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts
1 cup chocolate chips

*Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs. Add dry ingredients and mix well. Add vanilla, banana, sour cream, nuts and chocolate chips. Pour into muffin tins and bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes.

I didn’t have cocoa or sour cream. I ended up substituting Nestle Quik mix for the cocoa (same thing, no?). I also substituted organic yogurt with baking soda for the sour cream (For baking: 1 cup sour cream = 1 cup yogurt plus 1 tsp baking soda). I’m actually liking this substitute better than the sour cream. I’m keeping that bit of information handy for future recipes.

Even with mess up in the beginning and the substitutions along the way, the batter was looking yummy.

Yum!

The muffins turned out great. Another yummy (better than store-bought) breakfast for the week!

And if you’d like to get distract while cooking, here is a little Paolo Nutini love to get you through your cooking adventures! Enjoy!

Planning for a Natural Child Birth

When I found out I was pregnant with Chet, I knew I wanted a natural child-birth. It wasn’t even something I had to think about…it is just something that feels like a part of the journey.  When people find out that this is my plan there are just a few responses that I get. Some people say “good for you”. Some people call me crazy. Some people share their story of natural birth.

Just as a woman’s heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth. ~Virginia Di Orio

Cole - a few minutes old

When I had Cole, my plan was to feel my way through child-birth. I didn’t want drugs from the moment I got to the hospital. If I needed them, I would ask for them. I got to the hospital around 6am. My contractions were pretty strong by late morning. Right before lunch the doctor came in to check me. He said I would be having my baby around dinner time. Right after he left the room, the pain became overwhelming. All I kept thinking to myself was “there is no way I can do this until dinner time”. I decided to request the epidural. Thirty minutes later, I was numb from the waist down. A catheter was put in place. My doctor checked me again. I was having my baby now. The catheter came out. Cole was born just a few pushes later at 12:23pm (not anywhere near dinner time).

There are a few things I want to do differently this time around.

#1 – I knew absolutely nothing about the birthing process when I had Cole. I didn’t educate myself on child-birth.

#2 – I didn’t have a birthing plan. I just showed up at the hospital, followed hospital protocol, and had my baby.

My biggest mistake was not educating myself. This time around we are taking classes that are geared towards natural child-birth.  So far we have had 3 of the 8 classes.  Every time Christian and I walk out of class, we are amazed by what we have learned.  I had no doubt that our bodies are made for natural child-birth, but I had no idea how amazing the entire process can be. We are truly made to have babies. We are learning the different stages of labor. We are learning about the importance of hormones. We are learning about the things my body will be experience as it transitions into active labor.

When I had Cole, the extreme pain I felt scared me. Out of fear I asked for drugs. I was afraid I would have that burning pain (what I’m pretty sure was the “ring of fire” that doesn’t last very long at all) for at least 6 more hours. Had I known I was close to having my baby based on all the signs my body was giving me, I wouldn’t have asked for drugs. My birth with Cole was very easy, very quick, and very simple – perfect for a natural child-birth.

Did you know that the baby releases oxytocin when he or she is ready to be born? The release of this drug gives our body and our brain the green light to progress into labor. Oxytocin is also known as the love drug. We all have it. When the mother’s brain receives the love hormones, it releases endorphins, pleasure hormones. If a mother becomes stressed or fearful, catecholamines are released. These stress hormones prevent endorphins from being released. Without endorphins, labor can not progress. It is all one big amazing cycle that starts with the baby’s love hormones. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

In order to have a successful natural birth (when there aren’t medical reasons preventing it), the hormones need to do their job. Disturbances of any form can interfere with the process. Fear in the mother can interfere with the process. Pain medication can also interfere with the process. They prevent the natural cycle of these hormones.

We have a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong. ~Laura Stavoe Harm

Although I know I can’t plan my pregnancy or my delivery of Chet, I know I’m going into delivery with this baby educated. As things happen to my body, I will be able to recognize them for what they are instead of reacting out of fear. I will be able to make educated decisions during the labor process. Christian and I will have already discussed different scenarios so he can act as my advocate during the birthing process. I will be able to focus on bring our baby into the world in a peaceful environment (with the hope of not using drugs).

I believe in the process of natural labor. I trust that my body will know what to do when Chet is ready to join us in this world. I’m educating myself on ways to ensure that I support Chet as he makes his journey into this world. This little baby does a lot to enter the world. As his mom, I’m going to make sure I do everything I can to welcome him into a peaceful world.

Cole, all cleaned up