I find myself thinking about parenting a lot. Now that I’m back to working full-time and trying to make sure I carve a small chunk out of each day to focus on myself, I often think about how I can be the best possible mom to my boys. I have always tried to be the type of parent my child(ren) need(s) me to be. Cole’s needs are very different from Chet’s needs. Right now with almost 8 years separating the two, I feel like I am two completely different mom’s in the evening. One of my mom sides is juggling homework, none stop chatter, daily updates, more chatter, and a baseball schedule. The other side of my mom-self wants to sit and breastfeed (which Chet is happily doing again! Thank goodness!). I want to coo and caa with my sweet babbling baby. I want to read rhyming books and make up silly songs.
To live in the present moment is not easy, as we whirl through life balancing many things at once. As we practice Momfulness, we can pay attention to the moment we are in, finding the wholeness that exists below the busyness. We can come home – to ourselves, to our children, to our partner, to the many extraordinary moments in our every day life ~ Denise Roy
Tonight while my husband prepared dinner, I sat on Chet’s bedroom floor with both of my boys. They laid next to each other looking at each other eye to eye. Both boys chatted and babbled. Cole talked to his brother. Chet babbled back. Chet blew spit bubbles and laughed. Cole made up silly rhymes and laughed. For thirty minutes, I sat back and observed my boys creating a foundation for their brotherhood. I was afraid to move, to breathe too loudly, to interrupt this sweet moment between the two boys I love so much. I simply watched.
In those thirty minutes, the world was simple. Work didn’t exist. Homework didn’t matter. The eight years that separate Cole and Chet melted away. I saw both of my boys as they simply are: two happy loving boys. I was able to take in and absorb a sweet moment between two brothers. The love in the room was tangible. I know how quickly life goes by. Before I know it, Chet will be the one turning 8, and Cole will be getting his driver’s license. I hope the brotherly bond that they are forming now will carry with both boys as they age in spite of their age difference, but I know better than to interfere. Their relationship will evolve on its own as it is supposed to grow.
Today I sat. I watched. I didn’t interfere. I let Cole love Chet, and I saw Chet stare at Cole with so much love in his eyes. Being their mom is best thing that will ever happen in my life. The best gift I know to give them is my presences in each moment we share together. With such limited time with both boys in the evening, I hope I can remember to stay present in each moment even when the moments aren’t as loving as this moment shared between two brothers.