Tuesday night was the kick off meeting for J&A Racing’s Live, Love, Run Team. One of the perks of being on this team is free races. I started my registration process by signing up for my favorite, the Shamrock Marathon. Marathon #3 here I come.
I didn’t think much about the registration process until I got to the question that prompted me to enter my estimated finish time.
I felt like I arrived at that proverbial fork in the road. What numbers was I going to enter?
I was still frozen.
I sent a text to my coach. I sent a text to a friend. I sent another text. As responses came back, I realized I knew my answer. I just had to find the courage to commit. I had to put myself on the path that would lead me to that “dream big” goal.
3:39. A Boston Qualifying time for me for the 2015 Boston Marathon.
I was still frozen.
Wednesday morning Pace of Me, that girl I chased for my 7:xx minute miles, posted a fabulous reminder from one of my favorite books. You can have courage in life or you can have comfort, but you can’t have both. Brene Brown beautifully discusses the art of vulnerability in her book Daring Greatly. As I hit submit on my race entry, I knew these were the words I needed to read.
“The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.” ~ Brene Brown
Wednesday night I finished a ridiculously hard speed work out with my running coach. It was another one of those runs I thought I wouldn’t finish. I survived. Survival has never felt so good when your legs, lungs, and heart are screaming at you less than half way into your work out. I completed another real work out that is going to make me faster and stronger. These workouts are building a mental confidence in me that will be need as I run to qualify for Boston. Quitting was never an option in my brain during the run. The self talk was about how to survive the work out. It was about finishing. It was about finding strength. These workouts are making me stronger.
“Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where scarcity and shame dominate and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s far greater risk of feeling hurt. But as I look back on my own life and what Daring Greatly has meant to me, I can honestly say that nothing is more uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.” ~Brene Brown
When I day dreamed about running a half-marathon in my office in Nashville, when I barely ran a 12 minute mile on the tread mill at my parents’ house after moving back home, when I committed to really running a half-marathon in our tiny house by the ocean, when I ran my first marathon on the streets of my hometown, I never thought Boston would be a part of my running story. Now I know it will be. I will make it happen. Running with my coach has renewed the competitive fire inside of me. It has shown me that I’m just beginning to scratch at the surface of my running talent. I’m going to do the work and I’m going to find the courage I need to show up and make it happen. I’m not afraid of failing. Failing would be not trying. I want to be on the path towards Boston. The Shamrock Marathon is the start of the quest. Here’s to hoping and working my butt off to make it happen so I can run the streets of Boston.