A list to deal with too many lists

Today is one of those days when the world just seems too big.  To-do lists seem too long. The day seems too short. Today is one of those days where I find myself wanting more, wishing I was somewhere else, and dreaming about other places.

I am not comfortable in days like today. I become needy. I quit reaching and start retreating.

I know these days are normal. I need these days to balance out all the other wonderfully full days I have throughout each week. We all need days that are a little bland so the great days don’t lose there sparkle. I need days that start at 6am and don’t end until I put Cole to bed (an hour late tonight) so I can appreciate the days when I’m able to slow down around dinner time. These days make me crave and appreciate the time I have for myself and my family.

Thank you Pinterest!

While I know I need these days, I still don’t like them. I find myself wanting to sleep the day away so it can hurry up and be over. Sleeping the day away will not solve my problems. Sleeping the day away makes one yucky day turn into two yucky days. This lesson I have learned in life. What I haven’t quite learned is how to cope with days like today in a healthy manner. Getting grumpy with Christian is not healthy (not today anyways!). Throwing my hands up in the air and giving up isn’t productive. Searching for motivation on pinterest….well, that just makes me laugh. I’m great at making a to-do list of ten items turn into 100 because I’m feeling overwhelmed. When I feel like I don’t have time to clean the house, I can all of a sudden see all the other things that I can’t quite get done. The pile of school papers on the coffee table that don’t normally bother me turn into a mountain of papers that I can’t move.

I know (I hope) I’m not alone. Everyone has days like today. It’s just a part of the process. I’m trying to find a healthy way to deal with these moments in life.

Simplify. Instead of creating 90 more items for my to-do list, I’m simplifying. What really needs to get done? What am I creating in my head? If you read my post yesterday, you will see I scratched nearly everything of the “must do” list for Maute Moo’s arrival.

Declutter. Our house is notoriously messy. It’s not dirty. I scrub it every weekend. I’m just not good at cleaning up the house every single day. With two working parents, a kid, a dog, running, surfing, and just plain living, cleaning up every night is not my priority. This works for m 90% of the time. On days like today it does not work. Hello big mountain of school papers on our coffee table. I’ve found that if I clean our kitchen and pick up the clutter, I can breathe a little deeper.

Space. As needy as I feel during moments like today, I actually enjoy the quiet time to myself.  When I’m surrounded by other people, all I focus on is what I’m doing and what they aren’t doing. Hello grumpy Kristy. I’m notorious for pointing out everything I think Christian isn’t doing.  (Sorry!). Sometimes it is better for me to just fly solo (as solo as a mom can fly) on days like today.

Run. Nothing cures a day like today like running. I haven’t put on my running shoes since the Rock n Roll half marathon due to the hip/pelvic issues. I’m finally feeling relief and am not worried about running. It’s been almost 2 weeks. Am I surprised that life has become overwhelming at the same time I’m not running? Not at all. Running keeps me sane. Running gives me perspective. It simplifies my life. It declutters my brain. It gives me my much need me space.

Tomorrow morning I will be lacing up my running shoes. I’m run/walking until I don’t feel like run/walking anymore. I’m leaving the Garmin at home. Just knowing that I have a run to look forward to tomorrow morning makes me inhale and exhale a little easier. Not only do I have a run to look forward to tomorrow, I also have fall temperatures in my future. I am welcoming the cooler temperatures with open arms (and open windows) tonight.

Breathe. As soon as I start to feel overwhelmed, I need to remember to pay attention to my breath. It is always more shallow and less full when I’m feeling anxious. Taking 10 minutes to stop what I’m doing to simply breathe can instantly turn my day around. Maybe I need to tattoo Inhale. Exhale. on my body somewhere to remind myself. I always forget this simple effective technique.

Life is so much better when I remember to breathe

Leave it to me to make a list for how to deal with days when I feel like I’m being swallowed whole by life and to-do lists!

How do you survive your days when life becomes too much?

And if nothing else goes right during the day, I get to sneak into Cole’s room before I go to bed and kiss him good night (for the 2nd time). This always makes me smile all the way down to my toes.

Thank goodness the flash didn't wake him up!

Where oh where did the last 25 weeks go?

As of today, I’m officially 25 weeks, 2 days pregnant. I know I have some time left, but time is slowly disappearing.  At the end of June, I posted about preparing our house for Maute Moo (read the post here). I very ambitiously listed all the things I wanted to get accomplished in our house before our little man joins us in this world. Reading the post now, I wonder what in the world I was thinking. Paint Kitchen? Ha! Update bathroom? Ha!  Let’s be real for a minute or two.  My kitchen and bathroom are perfectly acceptable for a baby.

I’m still hanging on to the idea that I can have Mister Moo’s baby room ready by November 1st. I don’t want to have to stress over getting a baby room ready, the holidays, and a baby’s arrival during November and December.  To add to my “I must get it done now” feeling, we have something scheduled for every weekend in October. Fortunately my mom and my sister are catering to my obsessive personality. They are throwing me a baby shower earlier than they expected – the first weekend in October.

Here is the old list and our progress:

Preparing the House for Maute Moo Check List

Garage –  DONE!

  • ORGANIZE. Find a home for camping stuff so it can get out of Maute Moo’s room (we bought storage containers for the camping stuff last weekend!)

Hall Closets – DONE!

  • ORGANIZE

Our Bedroom – not even close. I’m actually don’t think we will need other of this in our immediate future. The hall closet/garage was so successful, that Christian’s can now claim the hallway closet until we really find a wardrobe we love.

  • Buy a wardrobe for Christian (his closet)
  • Buy a new dresser – possibly

Maute Moo’s Nursery – Crib – done! Paint – happening this weekend. Still need to make progress on the curtains and dresser.

  • Paint
  • Buy Dresser/changing table
  • Make Curtains
  • Crib

Cole’s Room – Must get done! poor kid. I’ve been working on his room since May (read about it here). I think it’s time he get a new fan and a finished closet.

  • Buy new ceiling fan
  • Buy beads for closet

Kitchen – Put on the back burner for a while.

  • Paint
  • Replace Bead Board

Living Room – Paint is done (read about it here). Still need to make curtains. I plan on making these when I make Mister Moo’s curtains.

  • Paint
  • Make Curtains

Upstairs Bathroom – Maybe next summer 😉

  • Fix wall behind Mirror
  • New Mirror & Light Fixture
  • Paint Vanity
  • New linoleum square tiles – until we do a full redo
  • New Toilet

Could I get all of those things done? Sure. Would I be sane by the time Mister Moo’s due date gets here? Probably not. It’s probably time for me to do what is need to bring a baby home. The kitchen and the bathroom aren’t perfect, but they are functional. Our bedroom may not be perfectly decorated, but it feels cozy to me. I really focus my free time to getting the baby room ready, enjoying moments with Cole and Christian, and relaxing. Life is about to get a wee bit more crazy!

With very little thought and not much ambition, here is my new lists of tasks to complete:

New and improved (and much more realistic to-do list) preparing the house for Maute Moo List:

  • Paint Mister Moo’s Bedroom (starting this weekend)
  • Find Mister Moo a Dresser
  • Finish Cole’s Bedroom
  • Curtains – Living Room and Baby Room – I can’t let go of everything for me! I want living room curtains!
  • Attempt to keep my house clean 🙂

I think I like this a whole lot more. I already feel my stress level taking a dip by listing these 5 simple things.  It is definitely worth the adjustment.

Right now simple makes me very happy!

Not so Simple inspiration for the walls in Mister Moo's Room - Good thing I like painting

 

Battle of the Rock

Last year at the bus stop

Every school bus stop has traditions. When I was in elementary school the oldest kid at the bus stop had the right to get on the bus first. They had the right to sit in the back row of the bus. They had the right to pick the game we played as we waited for the bus to arrive. Every year the oldest batch of kids moved on to middle school, and a new crop of oldest kids anxious took reign over the bus stop.

Time has not changed this tradition. Cole’s bus stop is at the end of our street. On one corner, there are three large landscaping rocks. (I suspect the older couple that lives in the house had them place on the corner to stop people from driving through their perfectly landscaped yard). The kids at his bus stop often sit on them while they are waiting for the bus. Last year, the oldest boy at the bus stop had claimed a rock. Two other older kids also claimed the other two rocks. If they weren’t sitting on them, they were up for grabs. It’s a new school year and new rock ownership is underway. One of the older girls at the bus stop has claimed her rock this year. The other two have remained open for anyone (including this pregnant mom) to sit on.

As we waited for the bus  this morning, Cole sat on one of the unclaimed rocks. The two sisters from across the street came out to wait for the bus stop. The older one claimed her rock. The younger one marched over to her sister and tried to make her move. When she didn’t she announced to everyone that she hates her sister. (The “hate” word makes me cringe. It’s not allowed in our house. I find it very disrespectful when anyone uses it. Hate is a really strong word, and I don’t think it should be used in casual conversation).

When the younger sister realized she wasn’t going to win that battle with her sister, she turned her attention to Cole. She told him to “MOVE!” When Cole didn’t move, she used all her force to shove him off of the rock. Cole flew off the rock and landed face first in the grass.

I had officially lost my mom-cool. I reminded her that “We don’t put our hands on anybody. And we most certainly do not shove anybody.” Cole, mostly shocked (and probably embarrassed), got up and walked away. He had a few small scratches on his arms and legs from the rock. He had grass stuck to his clothes and his hair. His shirt was wet from the morning dew. When I told the younger sister to apologize, she laughed. Her older sister took on the parenting role for her little sister since her parent’s were not outside. I turned my attention to Cole to make sure my child was alright.  A few minutes later the bus showed up, and Cole was off to school with his head hanging low.

The bus probably showed up at the right time. I probably would have over-stepped my boundaries and disciplined the younger sister. As we walked home from the bus stop, I was furious. In what world is it ever okay to be physically aggressive to another individual? If this was an isolated incident with this neighbor, I probably wouldn’t have been so angry.  It isn’t. She is a very aggressive little girl. She doesn’t have any respect for the people around her. Part of me was ready to march over to her parents’ house. Part of me was ready to pick up the phone and allow the school to intervene (The bus stop is a part of school property; therefore, the student code of conduct must be followed at the bus stop. Pushing is not okay). Part of me wanted to scoop Cole up and take him home. I didn’t do any of those things. I did go home and call the school. I asked the school secretary to let Cole’s teacher know just in case he was sad today.  And I cried while talking to her like every pregnant, hormonal, don’t mess with my babies, mom should! geesh!

Yup! I looked it up!

As a parent, I am constantly nurturing the portion of Cole that is loving and kind. Although I think he has a gentler spirit than other children (he won’t even kill a spider), I think it is my job as his parent to nurture the good in my child and teach him how to handle the not so good qualities we all have inside of us.  I have tried to teach him to respect the world around him – people, animals, plants, etc. When our neighbor physically shoved Cole off the rock, I think he was more shocked that someone would do that to him then he was hurt. In his world, people don’t do that to one another. In his world, people respect each other.

I don’t want to have to teach my child that there are people who don’t respect others the same way he does. I shouldn’t have to teach him to defend himself because it isn’t who he is and it isn’t a part of his makeup. I think some people may argue that I need to teach him these things because it prepares him for the real world. This frustrates me even more than the girl who pushed Cole off of the rock. When did it become the norm to prepare ourselves and our children for a world run by bullys? When did we forget to stand true to who we are as people and not cave when we are pushed.  Pushing back isn’t the solution. Pushing back validates the bully. It gives the bully purpose. I don’t want Cole to let the world walk all over him either. I want him to stay confident with who he is and the decisions that he makes.

How do you teach this to a 7-year-old?

I’m so proud of Cole for standing up and walking away. I do need to teach him to keep his head held high no matter what situation he finds himself facing.  It broke my heart to see him get on the bus with his head hanging low.  I most certainly will not teach my child to live his life according to bully rules. Change has to start somewhere. I believe my child is important enough to start the change with him.

“Make Peace. Not War.”

I’m fully embracing this slogan as my new parenting mantra. I will always teach Cole to find the good in everybody (including the girl who pushed him off the rock). I will always encourage Cole to invest his energy in things that produce positive outcomes. I will always encourage Cole to love the world he lives in and the people who surround him. I will always hope that Cole finds his place in this world – a place where he is happy, loved, and giving of love. I need to teach him to hold his head up high when he’s doing the right thing. I need to teach him to hold onto his happiness even when the neighborhood bully pushes him off of a rock.

I certainly do love my peace-loving, nature-saving, gentle-spirited child.  I hope he never stops claiming his rock at the bus stop.

 

 

Zzzzzzzzzzz

Any one else have crazy pregnant dreams?

“So Kristy, how was your weekend?”

Ummm………..I slept. and I slept. and I slept. and I registered for Mister Moo at Babies R Us.

After a lot of internal debating, I decided to go ahead and take the medicine prescribed to me by my doctor. I was in tears Friday night by the time it got dark outside. I was so incredibly uncomfortable. I was exhausted. Thank you to everyone for the feedback on my last post. I had my ah-ha moment when Kristen wrote to me about her nasal spray. If she were to ask me if I thought she should take that medicine, I would have told her she would be crazy not to take it. I realized I was being slightly crazy not to take the muscle relaxer. I googled it all night and found no reason not to take it. Stressing myself out about the pain was negatively effecting me physically and mentally. That can not be good for the baby.

Shortly before bed I took the medicine.  It did knock me out. I did have a great night of sleep on Friday.  On Saturday, I woke up and my hip was still aching.  I decided to keep taking the muscle relaxer throughout the day along with the prescribed motrin.  I think I was awake for maybe 6 hours the entire day.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling great. My hip was a little sore but nothing I couldn’t handle. I had enough of sitting around all day, so we headed over to babies r us to register for Mister Moo. Hello feeling of overwhelming. That store has a lot of baby stuff that makes me believe that we need a lot more than a car seat. Five minutes into the store, Christian mumbled “we are going to be so poor after this baby arrives.”

Once we got past the feelings of shock and holy crap we need a lot of stuff, we had a lot of fun. Christian and Cole took turns scanning items. Cole found at least a dozen toys his baby brother must have although I think he really wants to play with them. We registered for the essentials, I think. I’m sure we missed somethings, but I can always add them online later.  Our list has 91 items on it. 91 ITEMS! Who really needs 91 items to have a baby? I’m still standing by my opinion that we can get by with what we have plus a car seat, but I’m guessing the other 90 items will make life a lot easier for mom and dad.

Too cute not to have one!

Maybe I should have been born in a time before modern medicine and baby registers 🙂

I haven’t quite figured out how to get by in our modern world without caving into the luxury it provides. Like everything else in life, I just need to find the balance between both worlds. I’m happy I took the medicine because today I feel almost back to normal. I know I will be incredibly thankful for the baby swing and swaddle blankets in a few months.

What are the “must-have” items for our list? Even though I have Cole, I feel like I’m starting all over again!

I’ve also been working on our baby name reveal post….look for it in the next couple of days.

Maute Moo (Mostly Mama) Update – 24 weeks, 4 days

I have roughly 15 weeks and 3 days left until Mister Moo joins this big crazy world. My pregnancy has gone by in the blink of an eye. My baby is really 24 weeks old? We really only have 15 weeks left? Oh my. All I can think of is how much we have left to accomplish before I will feel like we are ready for a baby even though I know in reality we don’t need much at all. He has a bed. I’m hoping to breast feed. I have tons of Cole’s baby clothes. What else do I really need that isn’t a luxury item besides a car seat?

I did find this on etsy - it deserves to be in the "need" column, right?

While my pregnancy has gone by without too many complaints and zero complications, this past week feels like it has lasted an entire year. The pain in my back I’ve been feeling started to intensify last Wednesday. I got very little sleep on Friday and Saturday night do to the pain. Sunday I ran a half marathon. I slept very little Sunday night. I called the doctor on Monday to make sure they didn’t want to see me. She advised me to sleep with a lot of pillows, take Tylenol, and apply Icy Hot to the area causing me pain.

The Icy Hot has definitely helped me fall asleep. I’ve also practice more yoga this week. That has helped. My legs and muscles have recovered from the half marathon. That has helped.  Since all my muscles are feeling normal again, I’ve realized that the source of my pain is not my back. It is my right hip.

Not my femur, but it looks similar to this image

During my routine doctor’s appointment yesterday, I discussed my concerns with my doctor. Her first question to me was, “have you ever had surgery on that hip?” LIGHTBULB! Why yes! I have! In fact I have a rod in that femur that cuts into that hip muscle. I also have two pins in that hip. ANOTHER LIGHTBULB! I know why this pain is so familiar. I’ve felt this pain numerous times in my life since that surgery. It ached like this when I started running again. It aches like this when I’m inactive. It aches like this whenever I use my hip muscles in a new way.

My personal diagnosis: my hips are spreading causing the rod to cut into different portions of the hip muscle. The extra baby weight and expanding uterus are putting a lot of extra pressure on my hips.

The doctor’s diagnosis: No real verdict yet except it’s not normal. It’s not sciatic pain. She has prescribed a muscle relaxer and motrin (all safe at this point in my pregnancy) for the next 7 days. If it’s not better, I’ll go back for another visit. At that point, I may need some physical therapy.

My personal dilemma: I do not like medicine. I’ve never been a fan of putting medicine into my body that masks aches and pains. I don’t like pain pills. I don’t take motrin or tylenol (unless absolutely neccessary).  I want to feel what is going on in my body so I can correct it. I don’t want a quick temporary fix. I don’t like the idea of putting a muscle relaxer in my body. I really don’t like the idea of taking a muscle relaxer that will enter my baby’s body (even though it’s safe to use during pregnancy). If I don’t want it in my body, I don’t want it in my baby’s body.

My personal dilemma #2: I’m incredibly uncomfortable. I am able to fall asleep easily, but I wake up 3 hours later in horrible pain. I flip over. I toss and turn. I get out of bed. I walk around. I do yoga poses. While some of it helps, none of it helps while I’m trying to sleep. I have to sleep on my side, and that is when I feel  the most discomfort in my hip. Not only does laying down hurt my hip so does sitting and standing in one spot for two long. Thirty minutes seems to be my maximum amount of time for comfort. I’m desperate for a good nights sleep. Lack of sleep equals one emotional mama. That is not a good thing, trust me!

At least Christian and the dog are getting some sleep!!! (HeHe! Sorry Christian!)

What to do? I believe in more natural remedies and holistic health, but my doctor sees a need for pharmaceuticals. I’m desperate for sleep. My hip in its current condition will not allow me to sleep. I’ve sought out a chiropractor in our area. I’m only comfortable going to one that is highly recommended and certified in prenatal care. The one in our area does not accept my insurance. If we pay for it out-of-pocket, we will have to sacrifice other things on our baby budget like natural parenting classes. It is definitely a higher priority to be prepared for a natural birth then it is to be comfortable for 15 more weeks.

My pregnant hormones and type-A personality are not comfortable in this grey area. I like black and white. I like identifying a problem and developing a solution. I don’t like having no control over the pain in my hip.

I should probably fill my prescriptions

I know I need to at least go fill my prescription. I might (with a lot of hesitation) take the medicine this weekend. If it isn’t helpful in the next 48 hours, I can call my doctor again. Maybe the next step in the process will be one that makes me more comfortable. I’m okay with being uncomfortable with step #1 if I know step #2 is moving me in a positive direction.

Besides Mama Moo’s discomfort, Mister Moo is doing GREAT! Heart beat is strong and in the 140s. I’m measuring perfectly for my due date. I’m on track with my weight gain. Mister Moo is one happy active baby in my belly. All my blood work has come back fine. I’ll hear back about my glucose test in the next few days.

I would just really really really love at least 6 hours of sleep more than once a week so I can truly enjoy my happy healthy pregnancy.

I’m open to any suggestions, tips, smacks upside the head….know anything about Flexeril?  After almost a week of only sleeping 3 hours each night I know I’m not thinking clearly.