Kristy Maute

You’ve got Mail

We all have a morning ritual – once I get to work, I open my email and read all the non-work related emails that are waiting for me (than I read my blogs)! I swear it makes me a more productive employee for the rest of the day. Today my email was full of inspiration, and not from outside sources. It all came from me!

Inspiration #1 – Today is 12 weeks since my stress fracture! I made it! And I didn’t kill anyone in the process! I was told that given the location of my fracture, I need to be extremely conservative in my recovery. My fracture was smack in the middle of my left femur (not an anatomy freak – it’s the biggest bone in your body!). Stress fractures aren’t common in this area. Given my previous history with broken bones, I decided to listen to the doctor. I’ve been playing it safe. I did ask the doctor to write down his orders before I left his office. I know me. I know I would create a version of his story that suited my needs better as soon as I left the office. It was in writing – no running for twelve weeks.

Okay! I didn’t really make it twelve weeks without running. I started running last week, but I am still taking an incredibly conservative approach to my training for the rest of the summer. I want to run until I’m 85. I don’t want to retire my running shoes when I’m 40 because I was too eager to get back. My wonderful, fantastic, super smart, anatomy freak of a friend, Nicole, just so happens to be an athletic trainer at a college in Florida. She created my recovery program for me based on my goal to run the Rock n Roll half-marathon in September and based on recovery programs she uses for her track athletes. I’m no super athlete, but I definitely love the personalized attention! You can see the training plan here.

Motivation #2 – An email from Brightroom reminding me that it’s my last chance to order photos from the Richmond half marathon. (I’ve got to work on my posing skills for my next race!) That email is such a great reminder of how much I love racing.

I haven’t run an official race since February. I miss it! I miss the buzz and the energy at the start line. I miss the cheering fans. I miss the finish line. I miss that moment when I finally sit down exhausted feeling so proud of myself. The photos from the Richmond race remind me of how hard that race was for me. I definitely lost sight of my training plan in the few months before the race. I skipped some short runs. I always made my long runs. I think I felt every missed run during that race. Richmond has A LOT more hills than FLAT FLAT FLAT Virginia Beach. I wasn’t prepared for the park that was one hill after another. As soon as I thought, “Oh good, i can even out my breathing,” another hill showed up. The only hill I was happy to see was the one that led to the finish line – it was all down hill! When I crossed the finished line, i was exhausted. And then I checked my watch and realized that I PR’ed! YAY! Somehow crossing the finish line makes you forget all the aches and the pains and the moments when you think you just might not do it that day.

I right clicked and saved a few photos from the email – sorry Brightroom! And now I’m eager to race again. Based on my training, I will be ready for a 5k mid to late June. I will be ready for a 10k mid to late July. Time to find some races!

If you haven’t done something for yourself that makes you proud – Do Something! For me it’s running -for you it can be anything. Do it for yourself! Trust me – NOTHING feels better than accomplishing something on your own. There is that small moment after each race or a hard run when I think “I did it” and I’m proud of me. That moment that lasts for just a few minutes keeps me going. It it was makes me put my running shoes on even when I’m tired. It’s what gives me energy to survive a long week at work. It is was makes me love my marriage. It’s what keeps me actively involved in Cole’s life. Those moments are mine. The sense of accomplishment is about me and only me. I did it! And I love it!

Listen and Hear and Love

I have recently been sucked into all the hype of Oprah’s final shows. Love her or hate her, I think anyone would find it hard to argue against the fact that she has done some amazing things for all of her viewers. I love anyone that promotes self-discovery, encourages taking care of yourself, and promotes the power that each individual has within. Today’s show had me tears.

One of the segments on her show focused on 2 children whose parents were divorced – the mom left and never looked back. My heart broke for the two children. Both children ache for their mom. Lucky for them, they have one awesome father. The pyschotherapist on the show, Dr. Gary Newman, discussed the importance of being honest with children during a divorce. He also said something that hit home with me.

If you listen and you hear and love that kid, you are enough. You and every single parent out there—you are enough to set your child up for love for the rest of their lives.

The one ultimate truth about children is that they want to be heard (Isn’t that true for everyone?). Listening to them validates who they are – it sends the message that they are enough. They are valued. They are worth listening too. It is the best gift we can give to our children. It can be so easy to not-listen. If your child is anything like mine, they talk a lot. Cole can ramble on and on and on for hours. Some days, I don’t care about Pokemon. Some days, I can get frustrated when he is a perfectionist.

As a parent, I want nothing more than to be enough. I want to create an environment for him where he can flourish and feel confident and comfortable in his own skin. I often over think my approach to creating this environment for Cole. In reality, it is simple. All I have to do is listen. All I have to do is validate who he is and the things that he is talking about – from Pokemon to insecurities about being small to moments of frustration.

Sometimes all we need to do is say something out loud and receive acknowledgement from those who are listening. Sometimes no response is needed. We just want to be heard.

There will always be days when I have heard enough about video games, Pokémon, and all Cole’s other 7-year-old interest, but I promise to listen. Listening to these simple silly things model communication. When there are bigger issues that he may want to talk to me about, he will know that I listen.

While today’s segment was about single parenting and divorce, I don’t feel like I’ve ever fit into either of those categories (even though I have been divorced, and I have been a single-mom). I am so lucky to have a wonderful husband who thinks of Cole as his own son. Cole is lucky enough to have a step-dad who he considers a dad. I am also lucky to have an ex husband I don’t hate. Sure! He drives me nuts sometimes! We don’t always do things the exact same way when it comes to parenting. But we get along. We communicate. We love our son. Cole has 4 awesome parents – a mom, a dad, a step-mom, and a step-dad. He’s also surround by the love of all 4 families. I hope he never feels the void of having divorced parents, but I’m sure there will be days when he questions it. I hope he learns to recognize all the love that is around him. I hope he grows up feeling worthy, validated, and listened to.

Speaking of growing up feeling worthy, validated, and listened to – my own dad wrote the sweetest comment on my blog yesterday! I love you dad! I might be 31 and a mother, but I’m still his daughter. Your comment let me know you were listening, and I love you for raising me to feel worthy and validated in life!

At the end of the day, we are all children. We all want to be heard. We all want to feel validated. We all want to feel worthy of feeling and experiencing life. At the end of the day, we should all want to be parents as well. We should all want to be enough for those around us. We should listen and hear and love everyone we come in contact with. Thank you Oprah for reminding me of this today!

37562_411124958239_583823239_4742576_5182817_n — Two men I love more than anything walking me down the aisle to the other man I love!

Don’t get Stuck

Yesterday was everything I needed it to be – thank goodness. After work, Cole and I played basketball while we waited for Christian to get home from golf, i mean work, I mean golf (tough job he has!). When he got home, we hopped on our bikes and headed to our favorite local restaurant – Tijuana Flats. We took the long way home and cruised around the neighborhood. I ended my evening with a great yoga practice and meditation with my mala beads by my side. I definitely needed that! Tuesdays Blissology is all about Energy. It’s about opening up our front body and feeling the fire inside of us. I loved it, and so did my hips. They haven’t been this tight in a while, and my poor left hip felt stuck.

All of that good energy carried right over to today. I feel awake, energized, and not so gloomy. It was again one of those days that just worked. I got off work a little early. When I stopped by Cole’s school to pick him up he was off with his nature group (I forgot it was Wednesday). I decided to take advantage of my free hour. I got Alex and we went for my run/walk. This week I get to run 2 minutes and walk 4 minutes – 30 minutes total. My garmin was dead, so I just trusted my body and headed out. Based on previous runs, I should run/walk about 2.5 miles in my 30 minutes. It was so nice to leave the watch at home. I’ve run enough that I can tell you mile markers all over our neighborhood. I also know that based on my training time I should run 2/10ths of a mile in 2 minutes. I may have run 2.5 minutes. I may have 1.5 minutes. It was just so nice not to stare at my watch all the time!

View of the Lynnhaven River from Thalia Island

About a mile from my house, black clouds started to roll in. The winds picked up. I could hear thunder in the distance. I got to Thalia Island and saw the storm approaching. I also saw lightning in the clouds. I decided it was time to turn around. Crazy as it sounds, it felt wonderful to be out in those elements. Three months ago I was running 40 miles a week in rain, snow, over ice patches, and through mud puddles. Weather was never part of my thought process when it came to running. I just ran. Run/walking today as a storm rolled in made me feel like a runner again. I felt committed. I almost wish it started to pour while we were still out on our walk. I finished my 30 minutes of allotted time just before the storm started, and it’s probably a good thing. It was one heck of a storm.

In the midst of the storm, my mom and I took Cole to his swim lessons. If it’s lightning out, swim lessons take place in the classroom (boring!). When we arrived, we were told that the kids would not be in the pool that night. It was the last night we could view his swim lessons so it was a bummer since my mom was there to watch. Right before class started, the skies turned blue and the kids were allowed in the pool.

After swim, my dad meet us at the house with my favorite pizza – YNot! His idea – to make things simple for our family on a busy day. He than played basketball with Cole. I love seeing my dad interact with Cole. I love seeing Cole learn from him, and simply enjoying his company. My dad is a great coach! It brings back so many memories from my volleyball days.

So if I’ve learned one lesson from my funk the past week it would be this – my body needs rest, but sometimes it needs to be woken up too. While it is important to listen to my body, it’s just as important to not allow a rest period to become my normal. The more active I am, the more energized I feel. The less I do, the more lazy I become. AND I do not function mentally on doing nothing. It’s all about balance. It’s about opening up my body and my mind so I can welcome in the energy that is around me and so I can feel that energy that is within me. It is okay to rest. I will always need downtime. I just can’t allow myself to get stuck there.

Snapping out of it

Yesterday’s post got my brain spinning. I can accept that my body is exhausted lately, but I do not like that I have been in a mental funk also. I have to respect what my body is requesting right now – more rest, less play – but I refuse to give into the downward spiral I feel like I’ve been pulled into mentally. Time to snap out of it!

What am I missing lately? Physical activity! Physical activity keeps me sane. It keeps my brain engaged. It keeps me happy. But my body is craving anything but physical activity. There has to be a balance somewhere. I think it’s time to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks, throw on my yoga clothes, and unroll my yoga mat. No matter how tired I am at the beginning of my practice, I’m always energized afterwards.

I haven’t practiced yoga in 8 days. I also haven’t meditated in 8 days. Yikes! Tonight I am taking care of myself. I’m treating myself to a yoga date. No boys allowed. No dogs allowed. (Did you read that Christian? You are in charge of the household for an hour tonight. I need 1 hour of my own personal sanity, so I can be nice to you again!). Going to a yoga studio every night isn’t a part of our budget lately, but I enjoy practicing at home just as much. Each one has its perks. I love being in the studio around other people feeding off of their energy. I also love practicing at home relying on myself only. Tonight I have a solo date with my yoga mat and mala beads.

I have never placed my mala beads on my yoga mat during practice. There are always waiting for me on the table in the next room until I start my meditation. After reading a blog post on the tiny devotions website, I will be placing my mala beads on my mat tonight.

For us it is s a sign of bhakti or devotion. It is a reminder that yoga is a meditative practice and is also a very powerful way to charge your mala beads.

By placing your mala beads at the top of your mat you are allowing them to absorb the energy of your practice which you can take with you outside of the yoga studio.

My mala beads were my mother’s day gifts from my guys. I wear the Citrine Sunshine Mala from Tiny Devotions, and LOVE THEM! Citrine is a powerful cleanser and regenerator that holds energy. It is the stone of prosperity, joy and abundance. It also helps inspire the exploration of possibilities. (and it has sunshine in the name – if that doesn’t scream my name, what does?) I’m going to give myself and my mala beads some yoga love tonight.

It is time to reenergize myself mentally and physically. I feel much more awake today (even writing this blog has helped). I’ve also scoped out a few yoga classes I want to attend this month. I have been wanting to try out a few classes at Studio Bamboo. They have happy hour yoga classes that are half price AND free classes on Friday Night and Saturday afternoon. Not a bad way to figure out if I like the studio!

While I was on their website, I also discovered something that filled me with excitement. In November they are offering an Every Kids Yoga Teacher Training. One of the things I know I will do in my life is teach yoga to both my children and other children. This class sounds amazing. I’m going to do a little more research and talk to people involved, but it is definitely on my radar. (Teaching a kids yoga class is on my 10 year plan – why not start now!).

Today I am reminding myself to breathe! I’m accepting the fact that my body is tired, but I’m not accepting the fact that I’ve been grumpy, irritable, and gloomy. I can’t change the physical needs of my body, but I can change my outlook and approach on daily life. I’m reminding myself to breathe in the sunshine!

A little blissology love to jump-start my snapping out of it!

Coffee Please

My energy level has been at about zero lately, so I’m hoping to re-energize myself with this post. Christian and I bought our house last July (I can’t believe it has almost been a year!). We absolutely LOVE our neighborhood. We love our house too, but we really bought for the neighborhood. It is an older established neighborhood along the Lynnhaven River. We have huge old trees everywhere. Our neighbors are made up of singles, retired older couples (original owners), and young new families. We bought our house from the original owner, and it was built in 1960. It is the perfect mix of everything. I can run about 8 miles through each loop of the neighborhood and never repeat my path. I also have fun views of the water around every turn. My favorite quick run is to Thalia island and back – a 3 mile loop. It takes me past the million dollar water-front homes to the small little island in the middle of the river and back to our working class side of the neighborhood! It’s also great for a family fun bike ride! My truly favorite part of our neighborhood is that Cole’s school is inside our neighborhood and just blocks away.

Thanks to my zero energy level, I have had a lot of photos sitting on my camera waiting to be uploaded. I finally uploaded the photos last night. Here are a few of my favorites from around the neighborhood – a neighborhood I plan on enjoy to the fullest!

230304_2040745336799_1189270374_32566424_5332420_n — We have ducks nesting in our front yard

215442_1995270039945_1189270374_32503020_5900873_n — Love our yard full of Azaleas

I will get my energy back! I will get my energy back! I will get my energy back! I haven’t practiced yoga in a week, and I haven’t been running since last Friday. Our bodies and our minds are a crazy thing. I know my body is craving rest right now, but my mind is craving activity. In order to get my energy back, I need to listen to my body. In order to stay sane, I need to listen to my mind. I’ll find a balance for both of them – I have too!

I’m making a family decision and vetoing camping plans for the weekend. I don’t need to tackle that task right now. I’m going to focus on getting our house organized (that in itself makes me energized), and I’m going to enjoy my normal routine of running and yoga. In the meantime, I plan on spending as much time in my hammock as possible.