A little fresh air, some time spent in nature, and quiet time with my husband can cure anything…

We had our weekly doctor’s appointment this morning. This appointment included an ultrasound, a nonstress test, and a visit with our doctor. I was incredibly nervous heading into the appointment. I knew the “induction” word would have to be discussed. I was even more worried about something being wrong with my baby. Would the placenta look healthy? Would I have enough amniotic fluid? Would I pass the non-stress test? I did my best to silence the insecurities in my brain with real world rational thoughts, but they were still getting the best of me.

Up first was the ultrasound. Chet passed with flying colors. He’s practicing his breathing. My placenta is healthy. My fluid levels are good. Chet is a very healthy little boy, a very cute healthy little boy if I do say so myself. We got to see his sweet little face today. Oh my! We got pictures, but we aren’t sharing. Sorry folks. I felt like I was cheating getting a sneak peek before his arrival date, so we’ve decided the rest of the world needs to wait for the surprise. We did show Cole though, and I think he is in love already too! Cute little Chet was also smacking his lips the entire length of the ultrasound. Let’s hope he’s practicing for breast-feeding!

Up next was the nonstress test. It wasn’t as bad as I expected. We were in the room for about 15 minutes before our Nurse practitioner came in to look at the print out. Everything looked great.

On to part 3: the exam. I’m exactly where I was last week. My cervix hasn’t dilated any further. He’s still hanging out in the same spot.

And then we talked “induction”. I knew it was coming. Our practice’s protocol is to induce by 41 weeks 3 days because study after study has shown that the placenta starts to disintegrate at this point. It is not healthy for baby to live with an unhealthy placenta. Our nurse practitioner knows us well. She knows my thoughts and feelings about induction.  She knew it was a conversation I didn’t want to have, but we had to have it anyways. Since I’ve had good prenatal care, she said she could put off the induction until 42 weeks but she would get some grief from everyone in the practice. She was willing to defend our decision if that is what we wanted. (Did I mention I love her?)

While I truly appreciate her respecting our choices, there is one big hiccup in the plan. Cole leaves for his dad’s house on Saturday, January 7th. I fought hard for Cole to be here through the holidays this year so he could enjoy his birth. I can’t change his January visit at this point. Instead of waiting until Week 42, Christian and I decided it is best for our family to have Cole at the birth. An induction date has been set for January 5th (41 weeks, 3 days).

I know that this is the best decision for our family as a whole. I’m hoping it doesn’t come down to an induction, but if it does I’m at peace with this decision. We still have 6 days for Chet to join us on his own. Six days are a LONG time at the very end of pregnancy. The last six days have felt like a lifetime, so we still have time for labor to start naturally.

Although I know we are making the best decision for us, it hit me hard when I had to sign the waiver allowing the doctor’s office to induce me for medical reasons. I cried. I didn’t try to fight the tears. I just let them show up. (My wonderful doula sent me a text to remind me that I need to let my body feel whatever emotions I’m feeling. I don’t need to fight them! Thank you Christi!). Although I think I threw the scheduler for a loop, it felt good to get them out before I signed my name on their piece of paper. She did her best to reassure me although she misinterpreted my tears. I’m not afraid of an induction. I even feel confident that I can keep my birthplan intact with the exception of including pitocin. My tears were for Chet. My tears were for possibly having to let go of something that means the world to me. I truly believe in the natural process. Signing the waiver left me feeling deflated.

Christian and I left the doctor’s office. He let me cry. He talked about his feelings about the process. We both agree that this is the best choice for our family IF we get to January 5th and Chet still hasn’t arrived.

Instead of working this afternoon, we both took the day to do what we love. We put on our hiking shoes. We head to our local State Park. We walked. Christian, the dog and I tackled 4.5 miles on a quiet trail. The fresh air felt amazing. Chet felt incredibly heavy. The trees make me happy. My brain, my body, and my emotions thrive on nature. It was everything I needed it to be. While I’m still hopeful that Chet will show up before January 5th, I am comfortable with our decision if he is extra stubborn.

Despite my initial broken-hearted feeling, our doctor’s appointment went great. We got to see our son. Did I mention he is adorable!!!! He’s healthy. My body is still a healthy environment for him. Thanks to the quality time with my husband on the trails my brain is quiet and my body is happily tired. I should sleep well tonight!