Embracing my Inner-Hippy

Okay folks – for today’s post, I’m embracing my inner-hippy! No Patchouli needed!  And in the most unlikely topic related to hippiness, we are talking baby nursery today!  (trust me on this one!)

When Christian and I found out that we were pregnant, my brain instantly started designing the baby nursery.  I knew I didn’t want anything gender specific, so there is no need to wait until my 5 month ultrasound. One of the nights, shortly after Maute Moo was discovered, I was doing my evening meditation. I use the Blissology series to guide my evening meditations.  That evening the meditation focused on the 5 elements in the Body, Mind and Heart. I knew in that moment that I wanted a balance of the five elements for our baby.

What are the 5 elements? Space, Air, Fire, Water, and Earth.  These 5 elements are the building blocks for our world. Why not let them be the building blocks for our baby nursery?

Scientifically speaking,  every object (animate or inanimate) is made up of atoms.  The 5 elements are responsible for the structure. I found a helpful description on the Flowing Free website.

Every animate and inanimate being is made up of atoms, the 5 mahabutas (elements) can be explained with the example of an atom:

  • Aakash (space component) is the space which the protons and neutron occupy as well as the space in which the electrons revolve
  • Vayu (air component) represents the force of movement of the electrons around the nucleus.
  • Agni (fire component) represents the latent energy in an atom as well as the released energy when an atom is broken down.
  • Jala (water component) gives the force of cohesion that allow the protons, neutrons and electrons to remain attracted towards each other.
  • Prithvi (earth component) contributes the solid portion of the atom (i.e. the electrons, protons and neutrons).

Not so scientifically speaking, our world is made up of the 5 elements. Earth is everything in nature that is solid.  Water is everything that is liquid.  Air is everything that is a gas.  Fire is the part of nature that transforms the solid state of water into a liquid water.  Space is the mother of the elements. The experience of space is luminous emptiness that is equated with a higher spiritual experience.

The 5 elements also make up our bodies.  Space exists in our hearing and our sound. Space forms physical attractions and repulsions.  Air exists in our movement and in our touch.  It can be felt with our hands.  Fire is our energy. Fire forms hunger, thirst, and sleep.  Water is our force of attraction.  It can be felt throughout our entire bodies.  Water forms saliva, urine, blood, sweat, and semen.  Earth is our solidity. Its formed from things such as our skin, teeth, bones, tissues, and hair.

Each of the elements are in a relationship with each other.  Some elements oppose each other.  Other elements embrace each other. Each of the elements must co-exist with each other so a balance is formed.  Yoga brings the five elements of our being into a harmonious relationship with each other. As a result, our bodies and our world are restored to health and wellness.

With all that said, I want Maute Moo’s nursery to be a balance of the 5 elements. I want earth, air, water, fire, and space to be represented throughout the nursery. I want the elements to coexist peacefully, so Maute Moo can come home to world full of balance.  I want the baby nursery to symbolize all my hopes for Maute Moo’s life (and Cole’s life too!). I want nothing more than to raise children who grow up knowing who they are as individuals, appreciate and embrace the ways of nature, live in harmony with the world around them, and are loving caring individuals. When the 5 elements are balanced throughout our body physically and mentally, we are able to have an awareness of our true self.

When my parents generously offered to purchase the bedding set for Maute Moo, I knew I wanted nature elements represented.  It was much easier to find than I expected.  I knew it the moment I saw it. I was daydreaming about Maute Moo’s nursery while looking at Land of Nod, and I found it.  The perfect baby nursery. It showed up on our door step last week. It was better than Christmas.  It’s called Oh, What a Beautiful Morning. I don’t think I could have designed it better myself.  The quilt is a whimsical tree. It reminds me so much of the grapefruit tree my grandparents had in their backyard.  My grandma used to mail me boxes of grapefruits.  I loved opening the box and smelling the grapefruits inside.  The smell still brings back so many memories of my grandma.  I love having a little piece of her and the love she had for her family in the baby room. The tree also represents earth and nature. Part of my own life mission is to be rooted.  I hope this tree and our love for our family roots Maute Moo. The bumper looks like a sunrise between to mountain peaks.The crib bedding embraces the earth element from the 5 elements.

Before I was even off of birth control, I knew I wanted pinwheels in the babies room.  My sister and I used to watch the pinwheel show on TV and would sing the song all the time.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinning around. Look at my Pinwheel and see what I’ve found.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, where have you been? Hello, how are you, and may I come in?

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinning around. Look at my Pinwheel and see what I’ve found.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, breezy and bright.  Spin me good morning, spin me good night.

Don’t be surprise if you see the last line of the song on the baby wall somewhere!  As if it were meant to be, I also found someone who makes pinwheel mobiles on Etsy – Pickled Parlor. The night my mom ordered the nursery set, I got on her website and found my mobile.  Again, I couldn’t have designed it better.  It’s all the same colors as the bedding on one side and on the other side are tiny trees.  Written among the trees is Save the World for me. I AM IN LOVE. What a perfect representation of air for Maute Moo’s nursery.

Now we have bedding. And we have a mobile.  A crib and the rest will fall into place over the next few months.  I will also be looking for fun creative ways to incorporate the other elements into the nursery as well.  Thanks for embracing my inner-hippy with me in this post.  Sometimes the things that mean the most to us are the hardest to explain. I hope I did it justice, and I hope it makes sense.  Have fun ideas for Maute Moo’s 5 element baby nursery? Send them my way.  I would love some inspiration.

My kind of Perfect

Enjoying the View

When I started this blog, I really wanted a place that would allow me to keep my life organized.  I have so many reminders laminated and hanging around my desk. I have the same reminders on my bulletin board at home.  Even though I have my favorite quotes, my training plan, and my 40 day goals posted everywhere, I didn’t have anything or anyone to check-in with along the way.  I wanted to blog so I would keep myself accountable.  I also wanted to blog because I missed writing.  It’s been many years since I sat in a creative writing class at ODU.  It had also been months since I finished up grad school at Va Tech.  I didn’t have reason to write anymore. I had no idea that this blog would become the thing that allowed me to sort out my thoughts and my emotions.  I had no idea I would find so many other blogs that would fall in sync with my blog.  I love the little blogging community this blog has created for me.

This morning two of the blogs I read really hit home. I love when you read something that you just needed to hear from someone else. It’s a nice gentle reminder to get back on track.

My first gentle reminder came from my forever favorite blog Smile with your Heart. In her blog, JT talks about slowing down and enjoying everything that is to be seen.  I haven’t been doing this on my runs.  One of the reasons I love to run is because I’m outside.  I love hearing the birds. I love hearing kids playing.  I love smelling the smells throughout my neighborhood – families grilling, low tide near the river, fresh-cut grass. I love having to navigate my way around ducks and geese.

Beautiful place to breathe

My second gentle reminder came from a blog that has become my saving grace as a mom and as a runner – Another Mother Runner. Today’s blog post really hit close to home. I’m stealing Dimity’s new running and life mantra – I am here now.  I have been so worried about recovery and heart rate and miles run vs minutes walked that I am forgetting to be present.  I am here now, and that is all that matters. By worrying too much about getting through each run, I am forgetting to enjoy the run.  I went 12 weeks without running, and I truly missed it every single day.  I can run again. I need to be present and enjoy each moment – the good, the ugly, the hard, the easy. I need to embrace each moment.

I found it on my way back - facing the opposite direction!

Today was my first 2 mile run since my injury.  Today was my first day in training – not in recovery. I brought my run stuff with me to work and headed to First Landing State Park after my work day was over. It’s my favorite place to run. I set off on my run with two goals – enjoy my surroundings and be present.  My Garmin watch froze up again (RIP Garmin).  Fortunately I knew there were mile markers along the trail.  The first mile marker I passed was 3 1/2 miles.  The 4 mile marker showed up a lot sooner than I expected.  My plan was to check my heart rate 1 mile into my run – mile marker 4 1/2.  It was taking forever to show up.  I realized I had listened to at least 3 songs on my iPod since the last mile marker.  If each song was 3 minutes, it had been 9 minutes since I passed mile marker 4.  I knew there was no way I was running 9 minute 1/2 miles.  I soon realized I was reaching the boat ramp parking lot – 2 miles from the start of the trail.  I knew I need to check my heart rate, so I decided to check my iPhone (I’ve been using endomondo, and love it! it works just like my garmin but I’m not committed to wearing my watch).  I had run 1.77 miles. Mile marker 4 1/2 was nowhere to be found because I missed it along the trail.  Not too shabby since I walked twice during my 1.5 mile run two days ago.  My heart rate was slightly elevated, so I walked for a few minutes. I took the time to enjoy everything I love about the trail. I even snapped a few pictures of my favorite things along the way.  As soon as my heart rate was back to where it need to be, I ran some more.  I think all and all I ran about 2.5 miles. That is a victory that I’m going to celebrate! I don’t know what pace I ran – I’m guessing about a 10:30 minute mile.  I am almost enjoying not having a watch.  While I do like knowing my mileage, I love not being committed to a running pace.

After my run, I walked across the street and enjoyed the ocean for a few minutes before I picked Cole up from school.  What a great piece of the world we have here in Virginia Beach. On one side of the street is a great park with a wonderful trail system. Two blocks in the other direction is the Atlantic Ocean.  It doesn’t get much better than that!

My Reward for finishing!

Today is exactly what I needed. I had a solid run for me. The weather was perfect for me – 74 with a breeze.  The trails were the perfect running location for me.  Dinner was even my perfect dinner.  Tonight was eat whatever is in the fridge and is about to go bad night. We created a yummy salmon and tortellini topped with spinach, red peppers, and bacon meal. YUM!

Yum!

I really need today! I feel like I’m breathing again. I know I can get stuck in moments, and I feel like I’m holding my breath.  Today was literally my breath of fresh air! Breathing in the Sunshine!

All Smiles Mid Run

(All the photos were taken on the trail off of 64th Street – Go enjoy it!)

Be Amazing

After a pregnancy-hormone filled weekend, the hubby and I settled into a quiet sunday night and watched Race Across the Sky – 2010 Leadville 100. I’m a sucker for a good documentary that captures tiny moments in human life. Even if you have never sat on a mountain bike in your life, even if you don’t know the difference between a road bike and mountain bike, even if you don’t have a single bicycle in your garage – watch this movie.  It is so much more than a mountain bike race.  The Leadville 100 is a mountain bike race that covers 100 miles over 2 miles above sea level starting and finishing in Leadville, Colorado (with climbs up to 12,000 ft).  The documentary highlights racers and their story. The race attracts everyone – Tour de France winners (Lance raced in 2009), pro mountain bike racers, bikers riding in honor of friends struggling with cancer, a 62-year-old man, a woman recovering from being hit by a car while biking.  Everyone has a story.

Enjoy the Ride

The documentary highlights the human spirit.  We are all capable of so much more.  We all have levels of determination, fight, and hope that we never blow the dust off of.  Unfortunately many of us never know what we are capable of until we are faced with illness, loss, or tragedy.  It is in those moments that we learn that we are so much more than we think we are.  Why wait for sadness to figure out that you are amazing? Push a little harder. Dig a little deeper. Get uncomfortable.  Be amazing.

The only way I know to truly test myself mentally is by pushing myself physically.  When I push my body to a point that I think I can’t go any further, and I go further – I know I’m capable of so much more than I think I am. We box ourselves in. We put parameters around what we think we can do.  We limit ourselves.  While I enjoy my time on my mountain bike, I love my time in my running shoes. I have days that 10 mile runs seem easy.  Lately, I have had days that 1.5 miles seem impossible. This week my race training is back to normal.  No more recovery training.  I’m in full training mode until the Rock n Roll half marathon.  It’s time for me to trust that I am amazing too.

The reward is worth every ounce of suffering. It’s worth every mental battle I have with myself.  At the end, I know I can do it.

While I have a big running challenge ahead of me, I have an even bigger challenge of getting through my pregnancy gracefully.  I need to translate all the lessons I’ve learned from running and turn them into pregnancy lessons.  Someone, anyone, please tell me you have a hard time with the hormones too!!!  Some days I can feel so overwhelmed by it all – the happy emotions, the love I already have for this little plum sized baby of mine, the frustration I have with myself because I struggle with letting go of my body, the frustration I have with myself because pregnancy hormones do get the best of me. I can be mean. I can be moody. I can be sad. And sometimes I can’t do anything about but let the emotions flow through me and get out of their way.  But the reward is worth every ounce of suffering! Before the year is over (or a few days into the new year), Maute Moo will be here to remind me why I love this journey so much.

Like every race goal I’ve every set for myself – yes! I do have time goals too! – I always want to make it to the finish line with grace.  Please let me make it to my due date gracefully! I think I might need a training plan for pregnancy too!

At least you did it!

This morning, I set out for my morning run. 1.5 miles. I thought I was getting out there early enough to be the heat, but 9am wasn’t early enough for me.  6am might be my new running time. I’m not going to lie, today’s run was tough.  When I got home, Christian asked me how it went. I said “Hard”.  Cute little Coley said, “at least you did it.”  Ahhh – at least I did it!

My running reality is this right now:I’m coming back from 12 weeks of no running. I’m pregnant. I have to be aware of my heart rate.  Pushing through isn’t always going to be an option for me now.  I have to be careful. Because I’m recovering from an injury, my cardio, strength and endurance is nowhere near what it was 4 months ago.

For my run today, I ran 1.5 miles.  Near the mile marker, I could feel my heart rate increasing.  According to my doctor and everything I’ve read, I need to keep my heart rate between 120 -140.  Although I didn’t have my heart rate monitor on, I know it was higher than that. I could feel it in my chest.  Prior to my pregnancy, I would have normal slowed down, drank some water, and kept going.  Today I decided I need to let my ego go and walk. I walked until I felt my heart rate was back to normal.  I than ran my last 1/2 mile. While I’m improving my cardio and endurance, this might be my reality right now. Run, walk, run.  At least I’m doing it!

From Easter Egg to Christmas Baby

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew it would be hard to not write about in my blog.  I kept this blog going when I couldn’t help but write.  Below are the few entries I would have posted if we were telling people! Thank you Sara for the clever phrase – from an Easter Egg to a Christmas Baby!

April 26, 2011 – Last night Christian stood and watched me pee on a stick in our downstairs bathroom.  A huge plus sign showed up before I was even done going the bathroom.  We are having a baby!  Being pregnant and not telling anyone has to be one of the hardest things.  I don’t want to lose a minute of these next precious 36 weeks.  I can’t post this blog yet, but I am definitely going to keep track of my first trimester. I will share it with my blog world once I enter my 2nd trimester.

The positive pregnancy test was confirmed today at my doctor’s office. We are having a baby!

Babies have been a hot-topic in our house (private hot-topic).  The original plan was to go off of birth control after I finished my marathon in March.  Since my body had different plans for me, I didn’t run the marathon in March.  Now what? I want to run a marathon, and I want to come back from this injury strong.  After several conversations, Christian and I both decided that there will always be a marathon to run. I’m 31 this year. Neither one of us want to deal with the additional risks that come along with having children after 35.  Our new plan was to go off of birth control on my 31st birthday, March 28th.

35 days after my last period, we decided that I needed to take a pregnancy test. Neither one of us expected a positive.  So many of our friends are struggling/have struggled with fertility, I expected to get pregnant in about 3 months (if we were lucky). It’s hard to not feel guilty about getting pregnant so quickly.  We didn’t even have time to try to get pregnant. This little baby of ours is definitely ready for the world.

A few days before Easter, I got a funny text from my friend Sara (in Richmond).  She said that she hoped I got a special egg for easter.  Well I did! And according to due date calendars online, we are going to have a Christmas baby.  Based on my last period, my due date is December 27th.

It looks like our cherry blossom weekend in DC biking and practicing yoga wasn’t just good for us physically and spiritually, it gave us a perfect gift. It gave us our baby!  I can’t wait to share the news with the world!

Hammock talks make me smile

May 2, 2o11 – Cole now knows that he has a brother or a sister coming soon! Christian surprised me by hanging the hammock in our front yard tonight.  As soon as I saw it, I had to jump in.  Cole followed.  When we were laying in the hammock, Cole put his hand on my stomach and said, “I think you have a baby in your belly.”  WOW! Christian and I planned to tell Cole this week/weekend so why not now.  It was quiet. There weren’t any distractions. And Cole brought the subject up.  So we told him.

And he loved it! Well….he said “today is a weird day” while he was grinning from ear to ear.  We talked about baby names and how my body is going to change.  We talked about Cole being a big brother. I’m so happy to see him happy. I’m sure moments of insecurity will surface.  He has been our one and only for 7 years.  Fortunately his dad and stepmom had a baby in February, so Cole has really embraced being a big brother.

It really feels like this is bringing our family even closer together.  This little baby will be the link between us all.  I CAN”T WAIT! (and I can’t wait to tell everyone!).  I’m 7 weeks today! 5 more to go before I can let the world know!

May 16, 2011 – Oh baby! You make me tired! REALLY TIRED! We have slowly started to tell people that you will be joining us in this crazy world.  We told all of our family on Mother’s Day.  Cole drew a cute card for all the Moms who came over – Grandma, Grandma, and TT.  The news about you was on the inside of the card.  Everyone was shocked, surprised, and overwhelmed with emotion. You are already loved so much.

Aunt Amy (TT) is the first person to give you your first official gift – a Song Horse and Ocean book.  Cole gave your cousin Camden a song horse, and she still sleeps with it today.  You now have one of your very own.

Your dad is also busy getting your room ready for you! The room finally has a ceiling fan and a light.  If you are like any of the boys in our family, you will want to sleep with a fan on too. Your dad is also having to find a new home for all of his clothes.  We definitely have some furniture to buy before December!

9 weeks tomorrow! I finally decided on a doctor’s office and location to have you.  Your Aunt Jessi is an OB/GYN so she helped me a lot this weekend.  I made an appointment this morning, and will be attending my first doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning.  You are starting to feel real!

May 31, 2011 – Thursday is the day of our first ultrasound. I can’t wait to see this little peanut that is making me sick and tired. Two more days!

Tonight I discovered that my days of upward dog and boat pose might be coming to an end.  Time for prenatal yoga. My balance is off.  Somehow this belly of mine is already popping.  Clothes don’t fit. It is definitely getting harder by the day to hide my stomach. I know I keep reading everywhere that you start showing a lot sooner with your second baby, but it is really early!  I thought I might make it through part of bikini season looking “normal”.  Now I just look like a girl who ate one too many donuts or is about to start her period.  If I’m going to get a belly, at least let me look pregnant!

I also discovered that it is very hard to meditate when you feel like you can throw up at any minute.  I’ve somehow managed to avoid morning sickness up until yesterday.  Last night it snuck up on me, and it hasn’t gone away. The books also say that morning sickness should be going away right about now.  Leave it to my baby to do things backwards.  Way to show up full force last-minute!