Tonight, after tucking Chet into bed, I had the house to myself. I unrolled my yoga mat. I pulled out a yoga video I haven’t practiced since before my pregnancy, and I spoiled myself for fifty minutes. Half way through my practice, I had company on my mat. A four-legged friend of mine decided he would be my perfect yoga companion. The back half of my mat belonged to him.
Yoga is contagious. Finding peace within yourself makes everyone want to be near you. Every time I practice at home, the household gathers into the room with me. Positive energy is a magnet.
Our goals are important. It feels amazing to achieve goals in life, but always try to do them recognizing our connection to the web of life. Realize that even though we spend a lot of time looking for gold outside of us, right there, in the center of our chests, warm and bright as the sunshine, there is openness and love and something golden. It will live way longer than all of us. It’s called the force of love. Be powered by this thing. Spread it around. Feel inspired. ~Eoin Finn
I earned my wings today. And my reward is two weeks of tapering until the Rock n Roll Half Marathon.
Scheduling didn’t allow me to run with my running buddy this weekend. I was on my own for this long run – a first for this training cycle. Twelve independent miles. No music (I quit running with my iPod a few months ago). Just me, my breath, the sound of my feet hitting the ground and 12 independent beeps from my Garmin.
When I realized our schedules didn’t line up this weekend, I was nervous. I’ve slowly built my mileage from 6 miles to 12 miles over the course of the summer running with my friend every Saturday morning. Our morning conversation has set the pace for every run. When one of us got tired, the other kept us going. Today I only had myself to rely on. While I was nervous at first, I knew this was a great mental hurdle to conquer on my last long run before racing. I needed to define my own level of strong based on only me.
Behind the clouds and rain, the sun was rising
As I headed out to run, it was muggy. The world wanted it to rain, but it only released a few sprinkles. As I found my way to the boardwalk, I was greeted by a gorgeous sky. I knew my run was going to be a good one. My legs felt fresh (that’s what happens when you only run twice during the week). I headed north on the boardwalk and for the next two miles, I ran side by side with a pod of dolphins. Every few paces, a dolphin’s fin would appear. This run was going to be a great one.
The clouds disappeared just in time for me to run
Mile 1: 10:34
Mile 2: 10:23
When I saw my mile splits on my watch, I panicked. Too fast. We’ve been averaging around 10:50 for all our long runs with negative splits. Our last HOT 12 mile run was at an overall pace of 11:10. I ignored the panic. The nice thing about running without music is that you have nothing to distract you. I was completely in touch with what my body wanted. My stride felt comfortable. My breathing was easy. This is how I’m supposed to be running. I reminded myself to ignore my watch and continued listening to my body.
Mile 3: 9:56
Oh no! Way too fast! I do not see 9s on my long runs. I made the decision to slow myself down because I still had 9 more miles ahead of me.
Mile 4: 10:10
I turned into the park for the next portion of my run. As I made my way into the entrance, it started to sprinkle. I never got to enjoy the rain because the trees kept it all to themselves. Instead I was greeted by a swarm of bugs that loved the muggy weather (and me!). My pony tail lived up to its name as I used it to swat the swarm of bugs. I’m pretty sure a few horse flies and dozens of mosquitos had brunch on my back and shoulders. I made it to the boat ramp as my watch hit 6.2 miles. I just ran my fast 10k post baby – 1:03 something.
Mile 5: 10:24
Mile 6: 10:04
It’s hard not to panic when you are running fast for you on your longest training run. When I stopped to snap a few photos of the gorgeous Board Bay, I sent a text to my running buddy and my husband. I went out too fast.
Broad Bay
As I headed back to the park entrance and eventually back to my car, I reset. Stick to the plan (Ignore the panic): 5.75 miles to run. Listen to my body. Ignore my watch. Just run.
Mile 7: 10:15
Mile 8: 10:20
Mile 9: 10:12
When my watch beeped for mile 9, I needed a mental change. Things were getting tough. I was in a new territory for me. I have never maintained this pace on a run longer than 10 miles EVER. I crossed the street to run on Oceanfront Avenue to daydream about the beautiful oceanfront homes. Before I knew it. I was back on the boardwalk.
Mile 10: 10:20
The last two miles were hard. I tackled each one 1/10th at a time. It was honestly the only way I felt like I could I finish without mentally feeling defeated. Physically I still felt good. My legs felt good. My breathing was under control. Mentally I was tired.
Mile 11: 10:14
Mile 12: 10:20
The fishing pier was my finish line today. I have never been so happy to hit stop on my Garmin.
12 miles conquered on my own
Twelve Miles. 2:03:20. 10:16 overall pace.
Once I gathered myself after finishing, I realized I was being cheered on by another pod of dolphins. This time there were at least a dozen dolphins playing in the breaking waves. Besides my family, I can’t think of a better cheering squad to start and finish my run.
I had no idea I had that in me today. If the weather cooperates on race day, I have a feeling I could surprise myself (it’s really hard to not do the math and block the numbers from my brain!)
Stay flexible and open-minded as Christian starts his new job. (Did I mention he got a new job? again! This time he’s working with Craft Beers. He is a very happy man!) Remember longterm life goals for our family – This is where he is supposed to be!
There is a reason I listed this on my set of goals………….because I am lousy at staying flexible and open-minded when life drastically changes (or when I have myself convinced it is a drastic change). I panic. I find worst case scenarios. My Fight or Flight instincts turn on hyper-mode. What normally ends up happening is I panic, I get angry at Christian for X, Y, and Z (plus all the A, B, and Cs before those letters), and I turn into a Kristy that handles everything herself. The outcome is never pretty.
As his first day approaches (next Monday..yes! this makes me want to panic), I’m reminding myself of goal #7.
Flexible and Open-Minded.
What’s the big deal? His new job now requires some commuting. His new job also has a more structured work schedule. We have both been very lucky to have jobs that allow us to support our families and provide some flexibility with scheduling and juggling all family responsibilities.
Our current scenario: I drop Cole off at school (during the school year) and then I start my work day. Christian takes care of Chet and drops him off at my mom’s house before he starts his work day. After work, I pick up Chet. Christian normally picks up Cole. We are all home around 5pm to tackle homework, family dinners, and bedtime routines.
Our new scenario: Christian commutes to work. I am trying to figure out the balance of getting Cole to school, Chet to my mom’s house and me to work all in a timely manner (so I don’t have to work later into the afternoon). Depending on tunnel traffic, Christian should now be home around 5:30 or 6:0o pm. I will pick up both boys on my way home and should be in our house by 5:15pm.
I know it’s not a lot. I know there are working parents everywhere who have much more challenging schedules to juggle. It just seems impossible to me right now. I can’t imagine being responsible for both boys every single morning and still remembering to comb my hair (let alone packing school lunches, homework, breast milk, cloth diapers, my breast pump, running clothes, and maybe (hopefully) food for myself). Add to that family dinners, running plans, biking and surfing breaks for Christian, quality time with the boys…………….well, this is why everyone says there isn’t enough time in the day.
Yes. I know I will figure it out. For now I’m panicking a bit as we transition. The unknown makes me anxious.
But I’m remaining open-minded and flexible. (or I’m trying!)
And when I start to feel really overwhelmed (because it does happen), I’m reminding myself of goal #7. I know how to get through these transitions gracefully. I just can’t let myself forget all the things that I already know.
Breath. Focused breathing always saves me.
Which always leads me to yoga. I need to make more time for my yoga mat.
My yoga mat always translates to my running shoes. A peaceful practice always makes me want to breathe in fresh air and run outside.
A mom with yoga and running done for the day always leads to a happy house and happy boys (all 4 of them – husband, kiddos, and dog).
And then the anxiety starts again. Bring on the panic – When am I going to find time for these things. I need yoga. I need running. They are my sanity.
Now do you all understand why this is on my goal list. It probably should have been moved up to #1.
But because I’m remaining open-minded and flexible, I’m tackling what I know. I know that Christian has to be on the other side of the water at 7am all next week. I know I will be taking both boy to my mom’s house and picking them up. I know I need to run since I’ve worked hard all summer to build a strong base going into the Rock n Roll half.
To help my family transition (and me too!), I’m starting meal planning. I’m eliminating the What do you want for dinner? conversation in our household. I’m creating an organization corner in our kitchen that will include our meal plans, a family calendar that includes time for running, biking, and surfing, work obligations, and everything else you can imagine, and we are dedicating this weekend to organizing our house.
Feeling overwhelmed yet? While the initial transition period can be overwhelming, this change is just one step towards fulfilling family dreams. I really do trust the process. A month from now, I know I will be laughing at the process my brain goes throughs as we move to another chapter in our life.
Over a celebratory beer after the worst race of my life, I quickly said “Oh that sounds like fun” when the talk of creating a team for a local mud run was brought up. After further investigation (on a well hydrated brain), I realized what I had got myself into by saying YES! – An 8k Mud Run that looked to included some sand dunes, a few obstacles and a few mud pits.
Course Map
I reluctantly signed up a few weeks before it sold out after secretly hoping it would sell out before I got around to registering – no such luck!
As I waited for the rest of my team to pick me up Saturday morning, I actually put some thought into running this race. What did I sign up for? I haven’t run in the sand in over two years. I have barely ran on trails this summer. I have to climb up and over a wall? My upper body strength is nonexistent. What I signed up for included mostly sand, a few mud pits, and a few fun obstacles.
We got there right before the last wave headed out (darn traffic! If you run this next year, leave REALLY early!) There was no turning back…
Ready to goOh Sand
Everything I didn’t know about the course, I learned very quickly. It was not a mud run. It was a sand run. The first 2+ miles were in sand – not the easy to walk in compact sand that is along the shore line, but the oh my god can we please get to the place were I can put down my beach chair kind of sand. The ground was sloped. I had the hardest time getting my left foot under my body (weird?). Thank goodness my ankles survived.
After the beach portion, we hit the sand dunes. Sand dune after sand dune, I wasn’t feeling optimistic. What did I sign up for again? I will not run this race again. The first water stop couldn’t come soon enough. (Next year I will bring a throw away bottle for this first portion.)
Mixed in between the sand dunes and the rest of the course were a few spots on a sandy trail and a quick visit to a paved road (where I felt like I could fly after running on the sand).
Once I rehydrated and said good-bye to the first 2 miles, the rest of the course became fun. It did include a lot of sand, but it also included a wall, two fun mud pits, a belly crawl, and tube, and some crazy sand hills (as if the sand dunes weren’t enough torture!).
Our team finished the race together – and then quickly celebrated with another celebratory beer (where I almost had myself convinced that I could do a tri in September. Post race celebrations and beers seem to get me into trouble.)
Go Go Gadget Arms
It was definitely a fun race and a fun day. It was nice to take a break from all my training runs. It was nice to not care about time or performance.
If I did care about time (maybe a little) – and if we did followed the rules and had 5 woman on our team instead of 4 (Rules require 5 for a team) – we would have placed 6th among the all women teams.
Back to normal training this week. Three more weeks until the first of three half marathons this fall!
Refreshing Mud PitAfter
Considering running this race: Do it! But give yourself plenty of time to get there especially if you don’t have a military sticker on your car. Know where you are going. There are no signs directing you to the race once you get on the military base. If you obsess about water (like I do) while running, consider bringing a throw away bottle with you. And if I could change one thing about the course it would be to include mile markers on the race. Had I known we were less than a half mile from the finish line, I could have stepped it up a notch.
As I read through my favorite blogs today, I read Amanda’s blog post on Running on Waffles. As I read each sentence, my heart swelled. I couldn’t help but think about the motivation I have found while running.
Neptune Statue
When I finally committed to running two years ago, Christian and I lived at the North End of the beach. Every time I ran, I left our house and headed towards to the resort area of the beach. I had one goal in mind. Run one mile – to the Edgar Cayce building. I soon conquered that task. I was soon running there and back. My goals grew. Run to the Cavalier Hotel and back. Run to the boardwalk and back. Run to the Neptune Statue and back. Run to Rudee inlet and back.
On almost every single one of those runs, I passed a lady I will never forgot. She is one of the happiest runners I have ever seen. She is old enough to be my grandmother (and I’m in my 30s). I don’t know how far she runs or how fast. I do know that she always looks like she has found the secret to happiness in her life. Every time I passed her, I smiled and said “Good Morning”. I looked forward to seeing her every morning.
Cavalier Hotel
Two weekends ago, I was running 11 miles first thing in the morning. I ran to all of the check points I had wanted to reach when I first started running. Rudee Inlet. Check. Neptune Statue. Check. Boardwalk. Check. Cavalier Hotel. Check. Edgar Cayce Building. I could see it in the distance. I turned to run in the park.
I also saw the same lady I saw on almost every run. It instantly took me back. I felt my love for running growing inside of me. I felt the pride I felt as I set new distance records every weekend. I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t.
One of these days, I will run beside her. When that day happens, I plan on saying thank you. She inspired me every single run. She still does. I hope I’m running when I’m a grandma. And I hope I carry a smile with me on every run.
Kristy Maute 