In twelve hours, I will be at the hospital getting ready to start the process of welcoming my little man into the world. Although this is not how I expected to start our birthing process, I still believe in my birth plan (read it here).
The plan is this:
Show up at the hospital at 7am.
Get checked to determine my progression.
Based on my progression, I have a few options. My water could be broke if I’ve made good progression this week. I could also be hooked up to pitocin to give Chet the jump-start he needs to get moving.
I’m not going to lie. I’m nervous. I am not a fan of pitocin. I’m nervous to introduce something artificial into a natural process. I did get some reassurance from our practice yesterday and my sister-in-law (an OB/GYN in Northern Virginia). I may only need the pitocin to get to 5cm. From there, my body can take over naturally. I know I have an amazing doctor on call tomorrow.
The unknown scares me. I’m trying to find comfort in the unknown (something I’m not good at – another life lesson thanks to my little baby).
From the beginning, my goal has been and continues to be a peaceful welcome to the world for Chet. Drugs can stress out a baby. I want more than anything for my baby to feel free of stress, to be alert, and to be ready for the world when he is born. Every choice and decision we have made in our birth process has been to provide him with a peaceful birth.
Thank you Tasha for this quote - I carry it with me everywhere I go!
When you’re pregnant, you have less control of your body. The more you can let go of any illusion of control, the better you’ll feel about yourself. – Thank you Morgan for the quote!
Christian and I have had many discussions about our choice to induce Chet tomorrow. It has not been an easy decision. I spent a good portion of this morning in tears. I’ve fought with insecurities: Did I do enough? Should I have tried ____? Is there something wrong with my baby to make him not want to join the world? Is there something wrong with my body to make it resistance labor? Am I rushing the process? After many many tears, I realized that this is not how I want my baby welcomed into the world. He feels every emotion I have. I know I needed the release of those tears so I can embrace the process tomorrow, but I don’t want to drive to the hospital dreading what is to come. Tomorrow is a day to celebrate the birth of our baby boy. Tomorrow night, Christian and I will be parents to another little boy.
I know I still have a few tears in me. I have a feeling I will until I get to the hospital and everything becomes a bit more real. It’s so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that I am actually having a baby tomorrow! With the exception of possibly introducing pitocin, I plan on following my birth plan as closely as possible. I know it may need to be modified, but I know I have it in place.
While I don’t know much about how tomorrow will actually play out, I do know the final outcome. I’m going to have my sweet baby boy in my arms. Christian is going to be a father. Cole is going to be a big brother. We get to see our parents fall in love with our baby. No matter what, it is going to be a beautiful day.
Stay tuned……Chet can’t wait to meet all of you! And I certainly can’t wait to show him off!
Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised. – Denis Waitley
From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Cole (yes Cole! not Chet…I’m not already confusing their names!), I began a process of learning more about myself than I had in the 24 years prior to his conception. Being Cole’s mom has taught me my best life lessons. It has taught me who I am. It has taught me what I value. Loving Cole has been the best gift I’ve ever received. Cole’s existence in this world allowed me the opportunity to set a foundation for myself and the life that I want to live. Life changes when you have children. What’s important changes too. Cole anchored me to the world. I didn’t want to float anymore once I had him.
Chet isn’t even born yet and he is already following in Cole’s footsteps. He is already teaching me more than I thought possible. Patience. Planning. Letting Go. Loving. And the meaning of being Open.
When I took my pregnancy test back in April, I never thought I’d be pregnant in January. I expected to have a pregnancy I didn’t really enjoy because I felt like I was being held hostage my whole pregnancy with Cole. I expected Chet to come early because Cole was five days early. I expected labor to be quick and easy. Unlike my pregnancy with Cole, I’ve loved nearly every step of this pregnancy. Unlike Cole, this little guy is extra cozy in my womb at week 41. Labor is still to be determined.
Unlike my labor with Cole, I made a plan for this delivery. With Cole I went in open-minded. I wanted to feel my way through the pregnancy. I didn’t want any drugs, but I didn’t rule them out. If I wanted them, I’d ask. I didn’t put any value on educating myself about the birthing process. With Chet, I have a plan. I know I will follow it as best as I can in the moment.
Last week I was in tears thinking about induction. This week I’m okay. It’s not ideal, but I know I can make the best of it.
I got another great email from Tiny Buddha today. I can’t say it better myself, so I’m copying and pasting directly from her blog post: Creating Perfect Plans.
Life doesn’t always work out in the way we imagine would be ideal. We can either resist that, feeling crushed when we don’t get exactly what we wanted, or accept reality at every step of the way and adapt to make the best of what we get.
We’re often advised to visualize the future in specific detail so that we may create it; to see in our heads the environment, the people, and the situations we want to manifest. This can be a powerful exercise because it helps us get clear about what we really want.
It will be a far more effective practice, though, if we remember that what we really want isn’t the perfect moment—it’s happiness from moment to moment. That comes from choosing to embrace and work with what is, instead of bemoaning and fighting it.
If Thursday Morning arrives and I’m still pregnant, I won’t be following my ideal birth plan. It is far more important for me to have Cole present on the day his brother is born than it is to wait two more days to see if Chet decides on his own to join us in the world. We’ve chosen to have an induction. While it’s a hard choice for me, I accept it. I can change gears and find happiness in the moment even if pitocin has to be introduced in Chet’s birth story. (After a phone call to our NP, I also feel confident about how the pitocin can be administered per my request)
The past week has had highs and lows for me. I’ve had moments feeling 100% okay with this decision. I’ve had moments where I’ve shed a lot of tears. I’m choosing to embrace it and work with what is, instead of bemoaning and fighting it. I needed those tears. I needed those highs.
No matter what I will have a baby in my arms in possibly 48 hours (depending on labor). Christian is going to welcome his child into this world. Cole will gain a little brother. I will have another anchor in this world. I can’t wait to welcome my baby into a peaceful world.
Holy Smokes - I'm HUGE!Whoah Baby!
If I’m still pregnant tomorrow, I’ll post on how my birth plan is adapting to our current life situation.
Since I’m pretty darn good at cooking things (ie the baby in my belly), I might as well hang out in the kitchen.
Yes! I’m still pregnant. I have 2 more days to figure out a way to convince the stubborn or really laid back baby in my belly that he is ready for the real world. Tomorrow’s agenda: Pressure Point Massage, a call to my NP to ask all the questions I forgot to ask at my last appointment, and a phone call the chiropractor begging her to see me tomorrow.
Back to the cooking…
Even though I’m a good cooker, my energy levels are dwindling. I really didn’t want to stand in my kitchen all day today cooking. I didn’t feel like chopping up bundles of veggies or dealing with a lot of ingredients. I wanted to be a lazy cooker today (maybe that is where Chet gets it from!). I found a very easy soup recipe that satisfied my craving for spinach: Spinach Bisque. Thank you Naturally Ella for the great recipe.
Spinach Bisque
Ingredients
1 bag fresh spinach (5 oz), julienned
2 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoon butter
1/4 cup onion, diced
4 cup chicken broth
2 cup half and half
pinch salt and pepper to taste
1/4 cup cornstarch
4 cup cheese, your choice
Instructions
In a large stock pot over medium heat melt butter and olive oil. Add onions and saute until soft, about 5-7 minutes. Whisk in cornstarch – the mixture should turn into a paste. Add 3 cups chicken broth and spinach into pot and simmer until spinach is tender. Add half and half, cheese, and salt/pepper. Continue to let Bisque simmer, never bringing to boil. If soup is too thick, add the remaining cup of chicken broth. Let simmer for about 20 minutes. Serve with sprinkle of Parmesan.
Bisque is better and slightly thicker the second day.
The only thing I really had to do was cut up the onion since I bought preshredded cheese. We opted for mozzarella and an italian mix.
This soup was so good! And because it was so easy to make (with very little clean up required), I know we will be going back to it. I think next time I’ll add some roasted fingerling potatoes too!
Tonight we served it as a part of our dinner – Salmon, Risotto, Steamed Brocoli, and Bread. I should have invited people over for dinner! Sorry!
(not the best pictures – I didn’t feel like dragging out my camera – but I promise it is oh so good!)
I hope I’m done cooking for a while! Christian has assigned himself all the responsibilities of the house for the first few weeks of Chet’s life. I’ll let ya’ll know what soup creations he creates (and I’ll do my best to not take over)!!!! He is definitely the real cook of the family.
For those of you on baby watch, Yes! I’m still pregnant! I’ve decided that Chet is so cozy because I did such a good job of taking care of him for the past 40+ weeks. (I like this thought process, so let me have it!).
For every ounce of anxiousness, impatience, and sense of urgency I had for the past 4 weeks, I have none now. In fact, I’m having a hard time contemplating a non-pregnant body. Roll over in the middle of the night with grace? What’s that? Put my pants on without using the wall to keep my balance? Who does that? You mean not everyone sighs when they have to leave a comfortable position?
Today the hubby and I walked almost 6 miles at the oceanfront. It was nearly 70 degrees today on the first day of January. The ocean was calling. It is so funny to observe everyone as they stare at me. A handful of people feel the need to comment to the person next to them. A few really nice people get huge smiles on their faces. Another handful of people have to ask when I’m due. You would think I am the first woman to have a large belly and carry my baby past my estimated due date. The best was the lady who say “Oh Wow” to her boyfriend/husband when she walked by us.
Even better than the comments and stares, were the people who passed us on their walks. First we got passed by a lady who had to be in her 70s. Hips swinging, she walked by is faster than anybody. And then we got passed by three older gentleman. They were all discussing hip replacement surgery. I think we laughed for the next half mile. I may not be fast, but at least I’m doing something! Right?
Christian took a picture for proof!
When you get to be nearly 41 weeks pregnant, a new-found appreciation of patience appears. Somehow I’m completely okay with the fact that I’m still pregnant. This is a huge improvement from the past few weeks. I’m also so thankful that my sense of humor is still intact. My fat feet make me laugh. The hip replacement old men crack me up when they pass me. I even laugh when I can’t roll over at night.
My baby is healthy and apparently very happy. I’m just glad he loves his mama already. What in the world am I going to do with myself when I can untie my own shoes? I will find out before I know it.
Chet will be here in the next few days. Chapter 2 of 2012 can begin: Life with baby!
….with a baby in my belly! I guess Chet prefers the year 2012. Or maybe he doesn’t want to share his birthday with Christmas. Either way, it looks like we are missing out on a 2011 tax write-off 🙂
Tonight I probably won’t see the ball drop. 10pm is pushing it for me these days. I won’t be enjoying glass after glass of champagne. I will be enjoying a glass of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. I even picked up a decaf coffee on the way home from my mom’s birthday dinner. PARTY!
2012 is sure to be a great year! I can’t think of a better way to kick off the new year than by having a baby in first few days.
And just incase I don’t make it to midnight, here’s a few pictures from last year when I was able to stay up late. I could actually see my toes. My face wasn’t swollen (anyone else forget what my normal face looks like?). And I wasn’t hoping each contraction would start labor.
I know I still have a few tears in me. I have a feeling I will until I get to the hospital and everything becomes a bit more real. It’s so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that I am actually having a baby tomorrow! With the exception of possibly introducing pitocin, I plan on following my birth plan as closely as possible. I know it may need to be modified, but I know I have it in place.
Kristy Maute 