I need more pictures with my dad! This is the only good one I have...
First, I have to wish my dad a very happy father’s day! I am a daddy’s girl to the core. When I was sick as I child, I wanted my dad. When I broke my legs as a teenager, he is the one who knew how to take care of me best. He showed up to every volleyball game when I was in high school. He’s cheered me on in ever race as an adult. When I was getting divorced, he was the only person to take the time to ask me if I was truly happy. When I said yes, he responded by saying that is all that matters. I will never forget that brief phone conversation. It is one of those moments in life when you know everything is going to be okay. My dad is a quiet man. He doesn’t say much, but his love his huge. He is and always will be my biggest supporter. I love you dad!
Happy father’s day to my husband! Christian has embraced the role of being Cole’s day-to-day dad without flinching or blinking during the entire process. He loves Cole like he were his own. The two are more a like than any two non-blood related individuals I have ever meet. Cole would never venture out on a surf board if it weren’t for Christian. He wouldn’t love nature the way he does if it weren’t for their relationship. The both bring out the best in each other. This year is also Christian’s first year as a dad to a child that he created. Maute Moo is one lucky baby to have Christian as a daddy. I can’t wait to sit back and watch as Christian experiences fatherhood from the beginning. It’s going to be quite the experience! I love you Christian!
My Boys!
And finally, I have to wish a happy father’s day to Cole’s dad Brian. He is an amazing dad. I know that the day I left him, I stole from him a part of fatherhood that can never be replaced. Cole and I don’t live in the same state as his dad, yet their relationship has remained one of the most important in Cole’s life. Cole’s dad is definitely one of his best friends. I’m so fortunate that they have a good solid relationship.
Cole and his Dad - at Brian's wedding
Happy father’s day to all the wonderful dad’s in my life, and Happy father’s day to all the dad’s. It is such an important role in a child’s life. We definitely don’t put enough value on the importance of fatherhood. Tell your dad you love them today! Give them a big hug! Our world needs lots of good daddys!
My guys enjoying a father's day snuggle on the couch!
We have a new addition to our family! Meet our buddha brothers!
Brother #1Brother #2
Since we bought our house last year, I knew I wanted a Buddha somewhere in our house. I’ve always kept my eye open for one that was calling my name. I wanted one that was unique, not to elaborate, simple, but still felt special. Today I found two! Christian and I went to the boardwalk art show this afternoon. We always buy ourselves a little present. The past two years we have bought a really cool fish for our kitchen. I thought we would buy something similar again this year. As we were walking along, I said to Christian “maybe I’ll find a buddha this year.” I didn’t really expect to find one, I was just hoping. Not more than 3 tents down we stumbled upon a wonderful artist by the name of Susan Gott.
Susan Gott has a glass studio in Tampa, Florida called Phoenix Glass Studio. Her work is amazing. I wish we had the budget to buy one of her larger scale pieces, but these two little buddhas are the perfect addition to our collection. They were created through the casting process. They were sold as book ends. While I love the idea of using them as bookends, we don’t have a place in our house that would showcase their beauty if they were displayed as bookends. I’ve decided to split up the duo. Brother #1 has made himself a home on our fireplace mantel. Brother #2 is on our built-in bookcase around our TV. I love that they don’t scream “look at me! I’m a buddha.” Instead they are a simple, modern, and beautiful addition to our collection.
As our house becomes our home, Christian and I are learning that we love “things”. I love being surround by memories. I don’t like things being bare. To some people, our house might feel cluttered. I’m working on keeping our “things” to an organized minimum. Christian and I love to buy a new “thing” every time we visit a new place. I also love books. I would love to have built-in bookcases in every room of our house. One of these days, all of my books will come out of boxes. It’s all slowly coming together, and our new buddhas are exactly what I was missing!
(and speaking of organizing – one of the upstairs closets is done. All of our holiday stuff is now in one location in and not spread out all over the house!)
Another milestone passed for Cole. He is officially done with the 1st grade. These milestones in his life always make me sad. He is growing up. I love who he is becoming. I love who he is. Sometimes I miss sweet baby Cole. Today is definitely a day worth celebrating. He has come a long way from the first day of school. We bought our house just one month before the school year started. Cole was starting a new school. He was going to school full-time (as opposed to half-day kindergarten). He was riding the bus for the first time. He didn’t know anyone in his class. Wow – all of that feels like a lifetime ago.
Cole was very nervous about the “new” things that were ahead of him on his 1st day of 1st grade!
All nerves leaving for his 1st day of 1st grade
Fortunately, he was all smiles when he came home off of the bus! My mom heart couldn’t take it if he came home look as defeated as looked that morning when he left.
All Smiles after school
While I’m sure he is sad to say goodbye to his teacher, it is so nice to know he is going back to the same school next year. He has said several times how excited he is that nothing is changing. Our days of moving are done! It feels so good to be settled.
Cole's welcome home sign
Today Cole was all smiles again when he got off of the school bus! He had a very successful school year! We can’t wait for 2nd grade!
If there is one thing I’ve come to appreciate and value in life as I’ve settled into a happy marriage, embraced motherhood, and entered my 30s, it is truth. Truth in the form of honesty. Truth in the form of living a real life. Truth in the form of being honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Life is a beautiful thing, but nothing in life is perfect. Everything has flaws. It is when we are honest and truthful about these flaws that we can be real truthful individuals. There are days that Christian drives me crazy. There are days I drive him nuts – mostly because I can be mean. There are days I want to join the Peace Corps and run away from motherhood. Those are just days in my life. They are in no way a reflection of who I am or what I love. I love my husband. I love being a mother. I love my life.
My appreciation of truth is what I chose to use when defining the relationships in my life. I value real. I value honesty. I need both from those I incorporate into my life. If we are friends, you are going to know me. You might hear way too much, but I hope you never leave a conversation wishing I had been more open. Ask and I’ll tell. Don’t ask and you will probably still know all about it. I don’t want to pretend and make small talk. I like substance. Talk to me about something that is real.
Starting to look Pregnant
As of 13 weeks ago, I have a two new relationship in my life – me and Maute Moo. and me and my pregnant body. I think it goes without saying how much I already love my peach sized baby. I’m head over heels in love with this baby already. I’m ready to feel him/her move. I’m ready to know if he/she is a boy or a girl. I want to know my baby.
My relationship with my pregnant body is another story. I haven’t quite embraced the changes in my body. I read a blog post today from a retired pro triathelete who just announced her pregnancy called Butt, Boobs, & Belly. I have to admit that I am quite jealous to read how easy it is for her to embrace her changing body. As an adult, I’m very lucky to have never really struggled with self-esteem issues. I’ve never doubted my ability to do things. I’ve always know that I’m capable, and I’m stubborn enough to plow through anything. This pregnancy has turned all of that upside down.
Let’s start with my body. My already too big boobs are becoming HUGE! They hurt! My bras don’t fit. I don’t want to go bra shopping because I’m terrified to find out what size I really need to buy (and bras are entirely too expensive). My butt – UGH! I’ve always had a big booty. Now it’s a little bigger and a little less firm. And my belly. I’m ready to look pregnant not bloated. I think that is happening as I write this post. A guy I work with came up to me the other day and said, “I had no idea. Congrats!” I just stared at him a little confused. That is when I realized he was talking about my pregnancy. Lucky for him, I am pregnant!
While I’m adjusting to the physical changes in my body, I am having a much harder time adjusting to the mental changes. For what feels like the first time, I am feeling insecure. I find myself questioning everything. I’m feeling insecure in my relationship with Christian. I’m doubting my ability to accomplish things (RUNNING!). I am not okay with any of this! I know I am so much more than this – I just can’t snap out of it.
I’m hoping I stumbled upon a little piece of sanity tonight on Facebook. Elephant Journal posted a blog called I’m Pregnant but I feel Fat. I love the honesty of this piece. While I don’t feel fat or ugly, I don’t feel like myself at all since I’ve become pregnant. I need to get my self-doubt under control. I don’t want my baby to live in a world of self-doubt for the next 27 weeks. I don’t want to live in a world of self-doubt for the next 27 weeks. The blog referenced a book called Does this Pregnancy Make me look Fat? The Essential Guide to Loving your Body Before and After Baby. I’ve ordered it, and it should be in my mailbox on Saturday. I haven’t read many pregnancy books this time around, but I have a feeling this one will take a permanent place on my nightstand for a some time. While I’m feeling insecure at the moment, I am smart enough to know that it is a result of pregnancy (and I think some emotion left over from my marathon injury and 12 weeks of no running). Bare with me as I work through it.
I want Maute Moo – boy or girl – to have a safe haven to grow and develop. I believe that we pass our inner dialogue onto our children while they are in our womb. I am strong enough to tackle this problem head on because I know I deserve a happy healthy pregnancy, and I want Maute Moo to grow up to be a confident strong individual. I don’t want to plant seeds of self-doubt in a baby that hasn’t even been introduced to the world yet. Going forward, I will believe my husband when he says I’m beautiful. I will remind myself that I am strong. I will tell myself all the things I would tell Maute Moo if he/she came to me feeling like they weren’t quite enough. You are beautiful, and smart, and perfect exactly as you are right now.
Since the very beginning of the school year, Cole has been begging to be “early dismissal” from school. Since he misses his fair share of school to visit his dad, I’m always reluctant to have him miss any unnecessary days. This is the last week of school. Yesterday was beautiful outside. I left work early, and picked Cole up from school right after lunch. He was so excited. Not only did he leave school early, but we headed to Busch Gardens for the day! We have season passes. We might as well take advantage of them before the summer slips away. Some times it is just nice to sneak off for a day. We had a great Mom and Cole day. He is getting a little more adventurous every time we to Busch Gardens. He rode several rides he refused to ride last time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets on a real roller coaster by the end of summer.
Elmo Roller CoasterGood thing I brough swim trunksRefreshing!"my tummy tickles!"Land of the DragonsTaking the tram back to Elmo WorldCheeseRiding SoloWarning: will induce belly laughter!No hands!
Playing hookie for the afternoon was definitely worth all the fun Cole and I had yesterday! I’d highly recommended it if nothing important is going on around you!
Kristy Maute 